I've lost myself

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It comes in waves I've discovered,

and if you avoid the first one

then the following just hits you harder.

If you do not face reality

then you will end up whiplashed,

in every sort of way possible.

At times, I feel my heart in my chest,

almost like a hanging weight too heavy in its place.

At times, I feel a force too strong inside of me,

thrashing to get out.

These times I can't look at my reflection,

fearing a face I do not recognize.

I have come to terms with a habit

that I wish to break.

If what I feel is an ocean,

I only let out a wave,

and as a result I have created a tsunami

too strong for my very bones to stand against.

The anger I have within

is becoming a monster I am suffering to restrain.

The grief I bear is washing over

every light of happiness that dares

to light up within me.

My patience is too quickly wearing thin.

I am no longer what I pride in,

for I am weakening.

I desperately need to take a step back,

a breath in and a long look at my place.

But, I have discovered that the world will not stop,

a step back means I step off,

therefor a step in means I stand in a place

I have never set a foot in before.


idkk i dont even use wattpad anymore???

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