She's Only Just Beginning

Part II

[It was a conscious promise to her future.]

The Doctor was quiet for a moment; he simply looked at River, his eyes full of understanding. For who could grasp the importance of a name more than The Doctor?

“Well then, River,” he began again, smiling, “I do apologize. I meant to give you time, time to start your own life, gets things going and all. I didn’t want you to feel pressured or think I was hovering. Your life is your own now, fully and completely. The last thing I wanted was to sway your decisions in any way. I didn’t meant to leave you alone for two years though, I’m dreadfully sorry. I hadn’t realized.”

River had never expected The Doctor to make it easy for her, and no one knew better than she that there was a lot of work to be done before she became River Song, but his word were a comfort nonetheless. It was nice to know that he had not intended to abandon her for two full years right at the start. The Doctor opened his mouth, apparently about to go one, but she cut him off.

“You’re rambling, Doctor,” she interrupted with a small smile. He gazed at her with faint amusement.

“Beginnings are infamously tricky, and ours tend to be especially difficult. I just want to keep yours from being more so than it already has been,” he said truthfully.

“So is that why you’re here, then? Checking up on my beginning two years after the fact?” River asked smoothly, raising one eyebrow questioningly.

“I- Well-” he tried, flustered and unsure how to respond. She laughed placidly, the familiar, low rolling sound seeming to calm The Doctor.

“It’s all right, I won’t hold it against you, Sweetie,” River assured him, squeezing his shoulder as she spoke. His dark jade eyes shone with a strange combination of long buried pain--guilt? And either hope or love, River couldn’t tell which.

“What are you doing in the library at this time of night anyway? It’s nearly 1:00 a.m.!” The Doctor cried, swiftly moving on from the emotionally heavy moment. However, when she let her hand slip from his shoulder, he caught it in his and held on securely.

“Studying,” River answered simply. She shrugged. “I find that I do the best work at night -- and people can be ever so distracting.”

“Have you been getting enough sleep?” The Doctor asked suddenly, his tone colored with concern. Without a moment’s hesitation, he brought his free hand up and lightly traced the skin around River’s verdant eyes. (Had he been thinking and not merely acting, he would remembered this was not a River who knew him as he knew her, and he would not have touched her so intimately.) The Doctor frowned at the dark circles and slight puffiness that were apparent under closer inspection.

“River,” he chided absently tucking a stray tendril of hair behind her ear as he sighed. “You must take better care of yourself.” She didn’t flinch or pull away from his touch, as much as his care surprised her. River was uncertain how to respond; she wasn’t accustomed to people looking after her. Perhaps sensing this, The Doctor mercifully changed the subject.

“Your parents send their love,” he said, reluctantly lowering his hand from her face. “Oh, and they gave me a note to read to you. Actually, they gave it to me ages ago, but as it was intended for the first time we met after Berlin, I’ve been carrying it around for...well, awhile.” He pulled a folded piece of blue stationary paper out of suit’s breast pocket, and began to read.

“To our most treasured Melody. The Doctor said he’d be going to visit you when you were in school, not long after Berlin. But knowing him, he won’t have ended up where he meant-” (The Doctor snorted indignantly) “-so Rory and I aren’t sure exactly when you would be reading this. When The Doctor said he would be visiting young you, we asked him to take us to see you, but he spouted some gibberish about crossing personal timelines and some other spacey-wacey nonsense. All of which basically translated to, ‘She’s not ready to see you, and besides, I’d rather have her all to myself.’” Here, The Doctor paused, blushing furiously. River bit her lip as he shifted awkwardly, and decided that she enjoyed being enough to make him squirm.

“Er, sorry, I hadn’t read this through beforehand,” The Doctor apologized, “As I had planned to visit you six months after Berlin, I did think it would be unfair to spring your parents on you without warning. They do love you immensely, but you’ve not had the most traditional of relationships with them.”

“Thank you. Even now, I’m not entirely sure what I would say to them. It’s incredibly messy, on both sides. I do appreciate the letter, however. Was that it, or...” River gestured at the blue stationary still clutched in The Doctor’s hand.

“Ah, no, there’s a bit more,” he replied, nervous at the prospect of what Amelia had written next. He looked up from the paper, and at River’s nod, he continued reading.

“So if we’re not allowed to see you yet, remember that Rory and I, we’ll always love you. I know foreknowledge has the ability to bring about the end of the Universe and all that, but just know that in your future, you’ll get to know us all over again. The four of us will do absolutely extraordinary things together. All our love, Amy and Rory. PS: Oh, and one more thing, Melody. Take care of The Doctor for us?” As The Doctor finished reading, he raised his eyes to meet River’s, just as she blinked away a surge of emotion and valiantly tried to combat her growing exhaustion. She glanced down at the note, thinking of Amy and Rory; the childhood friends she had betrayed by trying to kill Amelia’s Raggedy Man, and the parents she’d been taken from. After everything, they’d forgiven her, or so it would seem, and loved her still. Who would have thought? she mused.