Throughout the Years (Tronnor AU)

Chapter 25

-Troye-

"In recent news, this past Saturday, the well reviewed and beloved Graceffa Teen Summer Camp has been shut down. The cause of the shut down was due to, what the officials say, is a suicide attempt by a camper staying at the camp. For more, we go live to our senior field reporting correspondent Ingrid Nilsen at the scene. Ingrid?"

"Thanks Ben. As you can see behind me, this usually bustling and happy camp has turned into a ghost town. Just two days ago, this camp was having its Saturday celebration when campers were all of a sudden evacuated just before midnight. Officials won't release the name, but a male camper ingested a lethal dosage of both codeine and ibuprofen, one of them stolen from the camp medical tent, and the other believed to be smuggled in from the camper's home. The camper was rushed to the hospital where he was given immediate medical treatment. We've been told by the doctors at the hospital that this camper is still fighting for his life. Live from the Graceffa Teen Summer Camp. Ben?"

"Alright thank you Ingrid. And although his motives were unclea--"

"Can you turn that shit off already?" I called from the kitchen as I tried to distract myself from the reports with chores. I tried to block the whole situation out of my head. I didn't tell anyone in my family about it. They all bugged me yesterday, but I wouldn't give.

Yesterday was spent in my room. Doing a mixture of crying over multiple things, going on my computer to block it out, or leaving my room to do the essential: eat, drink, and use the bathroom.

It was astonishing how my emotion levels peaked and fell throughout one week. How many enemies and friends I created throughout one week. How dead and emotionally scared I am just from one week.

It's weird how much he changed through one week. I remember him waiting for me outside of Ms. Jones room, waving me down and smiling like no other. One week seemed like almost a half year of time. And now, he's kissed me, attempted suicide, and is in a hospital because of Connor and me.

Connor.

I've blocked him out too.

My family doesn't even know he exists.

I never got to explain. I never got to apologize. I never was given a chance to speak up. He thinks I cheated on him, even though we weren't dating. He thinks I loved him and then abandoned him. Just left him alone to suffer. He thinks that the times we cuddled, the times we held hands, the times we almost kissed were just sexual or emotional, meaningless outlets. To see him return to old habits and curse me out was even more hurtful. I'd never heard him scream more vulgar and aggressive words to me. Ever. I broke him again. To see him rummage through his bags to find a razor was...heartbreaking,

The worst part though?

I never got to a chance to tell him that I love him so much.

I hunched over the sink as I began to tear up at the multiple thoughts running through my mind. My heart was in pain. My blood grew cold knowing that I was the cause of someone's emotional downfall and a suicide. Well, suicide attempt anyway. Which, didn't make me feel any better.

I could hear half of the family crying and the other in shock. I could hear the distinct cries of my mother and Sage.

I couldn't take the guilt. I can't take the anguish and painful truth anymore. I bolted up the stairs, got into my room, and slammed the door shut. I jumped into my bed and threw the covers over myself even though it was 11 in the morning. I cried and cried. I cried till I fell sleep to escape the damned world I created.

-

"...me do this. Let me take him to the hospital. He needs to--"

"Damnit Steele, he needs more time to grieve. Just leave him be."