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Pen Your Pride

14 | rewind

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She felt utterly stupid. So hopelessly embarrassed, she wanted to crawl into a corner and cry until she couldn't cry anymore. And she did. Sure, it was in the middle of the hallway, instead of in a corner, but she had to. She was a mess, and she couldn't take it any longer.

Okay, let's rewind to this morning.

"Mackenzie! Get up!" Melissa yelled from the kitchen, as Mackenzie threw her covers off her body, letting out a groan. She tugged a brush through her hair, combing out the knotty mess. She threw her brunette locks up into a ponytail, and shoved on a pair of jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. At this point, she didn't care about her appearance. She'd lost too much already, including her confidence.

"I'll just have cereal." Mackenzie said, as her mom set down a plate of eggs and toast for Maddie. She slumped down into her seat, pouring herself a bowl of Cheerios.

"What's your problem?" Maddie sassed, stabbing her fork into her yellow scrambled eggs.

"What's it to you?" Mackenzie volleyed, tipping the milk jug into the bowl, drowning her cereal.

"Hey, watch that attitude." Melissa interjected, as she grabbed the newspaper, her laptop case and walked towards the door. "I'll be home by six." The two mumbled goodbyes, and Maddie turned back towards her sister.

"I bet you have a Brooklyn sized problem." She pointed her fork as Mackenzie, who rolled her eyes.

"That would be correct." Mackenzie shoved a spoonful of Cheerios into her mouth. "And a Nathan James sized problem."

"Gross. He's hot, but he's disgusting. Don't hook up with him. He hooked up with Lex and he tried to -"

"He kissed me already." Mackenzie interrupted, not wanting to hear more. She thought Maddie's friend Lex was a huge slut anyway, so she probably wanted him to do whatever he tried to do.

"Oh, ew! Seriously Mackenzie? Did you enjoy it?" Maddie's face turned to a scowl, as she finished off her breakfast, and hopping off her chair.

"No. He was with Vienna at the time, so I was kind of revolted that he would cheat like that, even though I kind of expected it." She replied, following her sister to the sink, where the two of them placed their empty dishes.

"So what's your issue?" Maddie finally asked, walking over to the front closet, taking out her combat boots. Mackenzie shrugged, picking up her own short Ugg boots.

"I mean, Nathan apologized, and he really did seem sincere. But I don't want to date him. I want to date Brooklyn." She sat down on the steps, putting on her shoes.

"Woah, what?!" Maddie was flabbergasted, running over towards her sister. "What did you just say?"

"I said I don't want to date Nathan, I want to - oh my god." Mackenzie tensed up, horribly nervous. "This isn't good. I can't like him. Especially after how douchey he's been lately."

"Oh shut up. It's because he likes you, dumbass. Just talk to him, you'll be fine." Maddie put on her jacket, walking towards the front door. "You ready?"

The two walked to school, seeing it wasn't too far from their house. Mackenzie kept her eyes darted down at his feet, kicking small pebbles down the sidewalk. Maddie kept her eyes on her phone screen, her thumbs typing a mile a minute.

They entered the high school, parting their separate ways. Maddie wished her sister good luck, sending her a wink and a smile. Mackenzie shrugged, as she gripped her backpack straps, and made her way towards her locker.

Brooklyn was already there, holding a tight conversation with someone Mackenzie hadn't seen before.

"Hi." She mumbled, interrupting the two's conversation. Brooklyn gave her a fake half-smile, closing his locker.

"Oh, Peyton, this is Mackenzie, Mackenzie this is Peyton, she's new-ish." He introduced, and Mackenzie gave the girl a wave.

"Hi. Again." Mackenzie said awkwardly, unlocking her locker. She had no idea what he meant by new-ish, but frankly, she didn't care. She had important things to talk to Brooklyn about, and she wasn't going to let this girl get in the way.

"Well, we're going to class. We have trig together." Brooklyn said, turning on his heal. Before Mackenzie could get a word in, he was down the hallway, hand in hand with Peyton.

Did she miss something?

Since when does Brooklyn talk to anyone besides the basketball team?

Her mind was racing, and all she wanted to do was jump into a volcano. Or off a mountain, which ever would hurt more.

And that's when it happened.

Her knees felt utterly weak, and they began to shake. She had no one. Her best friend who she thought she was catching feelings for, caught feelings for someone that wasn't her, and could never be her. Nathan James was just an inconsiderate jerk, and Mackenzie was in no way going to let him walk all over her again.

Her books fell from her arms, her binder flying open, and papers sprawling out all over the floor. Then came her knees, which crashed down as tears welled up in her eyes. Bystanders watched Mackenzie, who was by now completely sobbing in the middle of the hallway. A figure came running towards her, but her eyes were blinded by the salty water, and she couldn't make out who it was. Their hands went under both her armpits lifting her off the ground and onto her feet.

It was as if everything was in slow motion, and she was now catching up to reality.

Instinctively, she threw her arms around the unknown person, (who was a boy, because damn, that cologne.), her tears sliding down her cheeks.

"It's gonna be okay." The voice said. "You're gonna be okay."

Nathan.

x

hey idk what's happening but wow emotional
like me #facts!!!!!
anyway! I've been real busy ok
+ i scored tickets to SGFG Live and I'm so so so so so excited even though it's next year :( but I missed my children and can't w8 to see them live again ong
ok bye

EDIT: ^ sounds life feels life was AMAZING. I still have PCD even a year later.

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