41. Headphones

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When we got to the airport, there was more chaos: hiding my face from fans, verbal abuse, death threats, and compliments. It gets confusing after a while.

We all boarded the plane. I sat in the nearest seat and wanted to take a nap. It wasn't going to take long to get to Manchester and I didn't want to get in a verbal battle with Justin.

I put on my headphones and chilled. I was disturbed by a bump on my shoulder. My eyes shot open and I instinctively grabbed the sensitive shoulder. 

"Damn!" I snapped. 

"What's your problem?" Sammie asked.

"My bad. My shoulder is sore." 

"Why?" 

"Fan threw something at me." I rested my headphones around my neck. 

"I just wanted to see what's up. I'll go, I know you want Justin to sit next to you." She was about to rise to her feet.

"No, stay." I stopped her. 

"Okey dokey then. Is everything okay?" 

"I don't know." I readjusted in my seat. 

"What you mean?" "I sense something is up, but enough about my problems." I smirked.

"Oh no." Sammie sighed and looked to the ceiling. 

"So Zaaaa.." I teased. 

"Yea?" She acted like she didn't know what I was talking about. 

"Panties?" 

"Okay, we slept together!" She growled.

"Couldn't resist huh?" 

"I wanted to know." She laughed. 

"You left the shoot because you said you were hungry, not horny." 

"I was hungry for-" 

"Shut up!" I cut her off. She covered her face and laughed.

"You're so innocent." 

"There's nothing wrong with that." I defended. 

"Of course not. Hold on to it as long as you can, because once it's gone, it's gone." Sammie preached. 

"What are you, my mom?" I teased. 

"Just a friend trying to spread some wisdom." She smiled.

"Thanks. So how was it?" I whispered. 

"Good." Sammie cheesed and licked her lips. 

"Aw shit. I think you're going to get addicted." 

"NOOOO! It's not going to happen again. I just needed to find out for myself."

"Are you two going to go around acting like y'all hate each other?" 

"Yes. I still hate him. He's a whore." 

"You had sex with him! So what does that make you?!" 

"Curious!" Sammie clapped her hands. I leaned over on her shoulder and started laughing. 

"You are crazy Sam Bam!" "

You know it!" 

"You're my favorite white girl on the planet." "I better be." She boasted.

"Can I sit next to my girl?" A raspy voice interrupted. We stopped laughing and turned towards the voice. 

"Uh?" Sammie looked at me. 

"Sure." I lowly said and put my headphones back on.

Sammie found another seat while Justin took hers. I pushed play on my phone and Justin pushed pause. I brought down my headphones. 

"I'm sorry about earlier." He apologized. 

"You don't have to keep apologizing to me. If you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to." I said and played my music.

I looked out the window to find fluffy clouds. I gulped, I forgot we were in the air. I took a deep breath and looked down at my phone. Justin pushed pause on my phone again. 

"I'm just tired of drama." He went on. 

"Tell me about it. You're not the one getting death threats and things thrown at you." I turned on my music again.

Justin grabbed my phone and unplugged the headphones. 

"What the hell?!" I snapped. 

"What you mean? People were throwing things at you?!" He sat up. I felt a confused expression cover my face.

"Uh YES! Did you not see that somebody hit me in the shoulder with something when we were leaving the hotel?! Oh yeah, that's because you stormed out the room and left me behind. Leaving Za to walk me to the car." I snapped. "Then, he went back and defended me. That's what my boyfriend is supposed to do, but you were doing your own thing, right?" I grabbed my phone from him, plugged my headphones into it and crossed my arms and legs.

I felt Justin staring at me. He was clearly speechless. I looked out the window and felt a tear slide down my cheek. 

"You weren't there for me." I whispered.

"I slipped up today. You know I'll do anything to protect you. I wasn't in the right frame of mind today." 

"I hate this." I took off my headphones for the millionth time. "I hate feeling like I'm a victim, but since all of this and being just in your presence. That's all I feel like and I hate it." I continued.

"I never told you this would be easy." 

"I never expected it to be this tough and this is just the beginning. It gets tougher and I don't know if I'm strong enough."

"Don't break up with me." He pleaded. I looked at him. 

"I'm not." My voice was weak. He held my hand. 

"I want this to work." He looked down at our interlaced fingers.

"So do I. I have to get stronger." I confessed. He gently kissed my lips. His tender touch took away all my tension and fear. 

"You're one of the strongest people I know, babe." 

"Please, don't patronize me." 

"I'm serious." He stroked my cheek.

"You go through this craziness everyday and it doesn't phase you. I don't know how you do it?" 

"Of course it does. I just choose not to show it, but sometimes it gets the best of me. I'm only human." "

I wish I was as strong as you." I wiped another tear before it fell.

"I think you're stronger, because you can admit when you're hurting." He said. I chuckled and shook my head. 

"That's weakness." I said. He leaned in and kissed me again. 

"You make me strong and weak at the same time Justin." I confessed.

"As long as I make you smile too, I'm fine with that." He smiled. I kissed him. 

"I wouldn't have it any other way." I said against his lips. He pecked them again.

"I've never cried so much in my life." I embarrassedly giggled.

"I rather you show me some kind of emotion, than none at all." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I leaned on his. We enjoyed the rest of the flight. Everything was blissful, but I still wanted to know about that phone call.

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