Therapy|L.B

0.1

i sat in my hospital bed, tear stained cheeks.

lukes in America at the moment. He's been gone 6 months and our relationship is strong.

i haven't told him.

i can't.

Hes back next week.

hopefuly I'm gone by then.

i don't want him to see me go, I can't put him through the pain.

this cancer- it's eating me away..it's so draining.

its like a person and an ant...one is so much stronger than the other, and in this case..I'm the ant.

the nurse came in and injected my daily pills. I can't eat them because I just puke them back up so this way, they go straight into my bloodstream.

there are a lot of side effects that come with the big, depressing package of cancer, one of them being puking. A hella lot.

but it's not the worst one. One of the worst ones is not having hair (in my opinion anyway) , I mean I've never felt beautiful yes, I will admit that.

but I've never felt so ugly. It makes me look so...dead.

but there something equally as bad as that. The fact you know it's not going to get better.

i have-well had the hope they will be able to cure it but let's be honest. They can't completley cure it and I know that, but if I get better and stable again I won't be able to get better mentally. I'm both physically and emotionally scarred.

its the worst feeling ever.

[a/n this is kinda short but did it's only the first chapter anyway I don't really know all the science and shit behind having cancer so if I get something wrong, kindly, correct me.]