Watch Me Fall Apart

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Instantly Louis started to struggle, and eventually the paramedics gave up, sighing in defeat. "We'll just take him with us, poor lad."

Louis gripped Harry's hand lightly the whole ride to the hospital, too afraid to hold on any tighter, lest he break the fragile bones.


When they finally arrived at the emergency room, Louis was forced to sit in the waiting room. Alone. Away from Harry.

For about half an hour Louis was alone, crying, his eyes unfocused as he stared at the ugly brown carpet.

The rest of the lads showed up not too long after that thirty minute mark passed, gently asking Louis if he'd heard anything about Harry's current condition. Louis told them, through his seemingly endless sobs, that no one would tell him anything, that he had no idea how Harry was doing.

They left soon after that, promising to be back as soon as they could, but they had to let management, and Anne, know about what happened with Harry.

So Louis was alone again, hating himself because he knew, he had known along. Harry wasn't okay, Harry was sick, and Louis just tried to overlook it all. What type of horrible person was he?

A little while later an older looking man (the doctor, Louis presumed) came out, saying softly that Harry would be okay. He also mentioned that Harry's stomach had been empty, and it was safe to say that he hadn't eaten anything in at least two or three days.

Louis jumped up at that, unsteady and looking like he would collapse at any moment. The doctor seemed to sense his urgency, and told Louis that he could go see Harry now if he wanted, but they were going to be keeping the fragile boy overnight, just to be safe. Louis was shown into Harry's room, and the doctor quickly showed himself out, letting the two lads be alone.


Louis was unsure if Harry would be awake or not, and he wasn't too sure of what he would say if the curly haired lad was awake. Would he yell? Ask why?

Luckily, or maybe unluckily, Harry seemed to still be asleep, eyelashes fluttering. Louis pulled up an uncomfortable looking blue chair, next to the bed Harry was resting in. Harry looked sickeningly fragile, paler than Louis had ever seen him before. He looked so small under the too bright hospital lights. His collarbones were protruding from his thin green hospital gown, and Louis gently reached out to stroke them, both awed and a bit put off by how easily he could feel them.

At Louis' gentle prodding, Harry woke up, green eyes heavily lidded.


"Hey, Lou..." Harry's voice was rough, and Louis quickly grabbed the small plastic cup of water that was left on the side of the bed, handing it to him.

Harry took it gratefully, and Louis let him finish drinking until he decided to speak.

"Haz, babe, why?" Is all he was able to choke out, feeling near tears, yet again. He didn't understand why this amazingly perfect and beautiful and funny and kind and charming and goofy and lovely boy would ever want to starve himself, to become something so easily breakable.

Harry stared at his boyfriend for a few moments, unblinking. Why? That was a really great question actually, why had it all started? Why did Harry hate himself so much?

He shrugged, "I dunno."

Louis stared right back, unbelieving. "You... don't know?"

Because what the hell. How could somebody ruin themselves so thoroughly, and not even have a reason? Louis isn't buying that answer for even a second.


Harry froze, seeing the angry look in Louis' eyes. He knew that Louis wasn't angry at him, per se, but at the whole situation. It didn't make him feel any better though. It just made him feel worse.

Louis must have realized that he wasn't helping any, and took a deep breath, willing away the angry thoughts.

"Okay, sorry babe, I just... love you. I want you to be happy, and healthy!" Louis spoke earnestly, grabbing Harry's fragile hands and holding on tightly.

He needed Harry to know how beautiful he was, how amazing.

"Please... get help. I don't want to see you like this," Louis whispered, voice cracking and eyes tearing up.

It kills him, seeing what Harry has done to himself. And he just sat by and let it happen.


Harry thought about it for a moment. Get help? But why? He's fine, right? Everything is just fine.

But then he looked up at Louis, and saw just how affected he was by all of this, and reconsidered.

He really had been missing food, and even more than that, had been missing being truly happy.


"Okay, Lou..."

"Alright babe, we'll get through this together."

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