"In this cycle.. who goes away and who stays.. is a matter between You and Me.."








VII: What Now ?


It's already nine pm. The thirty minute drive to the hospital doesn't help easing the worry I feel inside.

I felt Erin's hand moisting from holding mine. My dad's maneuver of the car is steadfast and calm but hoping to reach there in time.

"Everything's going to be fine Dice " Erin whispered in my ear. I was in a blank expression since my heart is beating up to my lungs, worried sick.

"What if he dies now? I can't gamble that..can I?"  I murmured still looking blunt.

"Dice.. calm down. Rolf is a strong boy. He can do it" Dad's encouraging words pull me through.

The moment my feet landed the hospital's ground I was already running paranoid.

It's like everything stopped and all I can hear is the beat of my heart.It was a loud thump inside my chest. I can bearly contain it.

I can't afford to loose him.. not yet..not now..

I reached the private room where Rolf is confined. The door slammed when I opened it only to see him lying there. He's unconscious, he was looking so weak I was stopping my tears from falling off my cheeks.

"Oh Dice.."  Andria hugged me tight as if I was Rolf.

"What.. happened?" my voice starts to crack.

"When..he got home.. he.. " Andria stuttered.

"He said his legs feels weak. I sent him to his room so that he could rest. After several minutes I thought I could bring him snacks.. and then he.. " Andria broke into tears. She almost loose her balance and was about to break down.

"There he was Dice.. on the floor.. having seizures and his expression is painful to watch. He was in so much pain from all the muscle contractions.. and I can't do anything about it.. I.. "

Andria cried so hard. I was able to hold back mu tears and turned to Rolf's direction. He is peaceful to look at. Like no harm can damage his vulnerable state. Poor Rolf. I wish I could take the pain away.



****



Dad and Erin decided to went home after three hours of being there. I politely asked Andria to go home too since she needs to rest also. Being a single mom to her fragile child is exhausting.

I promised Andria that I can take care of Rolf while she's resting and promised to call her if anything happens. I hope nothing bad happens.

Exactly six am in the morning, I felt something sliding in my hair. I was lying beside Rolf when he tried to wake me up.

"Uhmmm.." I opened my other eye to see what's happening.

"Hey.. beautiful.." a weak voice said causing me to jumped on my toes and face the person.

"Oh my god.. you're awake.. Rolf.." I hugged him tight not minding the wires all over him.

"Di.. Dice.. I can't breath.." Rolf plead cutely.

"You moron.. you made me worried.."

"What did I do?"

"You nearly died.. I will kill you if you die. Really I will."

"nah.. that's not possible.. you loved me that much.. and besides I'm still going to nail Gena..haha "

Rolf is back, back to being a jerk. But I'm happy to see him alive even if what he just said made this uncomfy feeling in my chest. That was not denial at all.

"What's wrong?" he asked cupping my face.

"Nothing.."

"Come on.. what' wrong?" He asked again.

"I'm just.. you know.. afraid.." a tear rolled in my eye not sure why.

"Dice.." he leaned forward, leaning his forehead to mine.

"I am not going to die sooner.. okay? and besides nailing Gena "

There it goes again, that pinching pain.

"Besides, I promised to be there at your wedding right?" he smiled not minding the oxygen cannula in his nostrils.

"Stop pretending that you are okay.. and stop pretending that you care about me Rolf.. it's all about Gena. Gena is all what you think of." I was slightly pissed not also sure why.

I took his hands off my face and stood up.

"Why are you pissed off?", Rolf asked worried. "Are you not happy I have a new purpose to live?", he gestured his hands to his chest.

I took a long breath. I let out a sigh exhausted of what just I've heard. He has a new purpose to live? Did he just said that to my face? God, this pinching sensatiin needs to stop.

"Dice?", Rolf called me out of trance.

I looked at him not sure why tears forming in my eyes.

"Dice? are you listening? he called out again.

"What now?", my reply sounded annoyed.

"Are you mad?" he asked innocently.

Uh..oh.. I know what's this pain I feel inside. Oh no this can't be it. No it can't be...

Could I be jealous?









Jealousy is the ugliest trait Dice! nyahahaha anyways thank you my dear chrillians for the support even though this is just the beginning. Let's keep it up up up!!! More updates soon.

Love,
Imping

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