"Isa pa nga pre" I told the bartender who looked worried at my request.
"Are you sure, sir?" Napakamot siya sa ulo "Nakarami ka na po. You might not be able to drive home safely."
I gave him a stern look to shut him up. He hesitantly poured me another shot.
Ba't sabay pa sila nag OT ni Jacob? Tapos sabay pa umuwi. He was so close to her, and she was smiling while staring at him. Ano bang meron sa kanila? And why am I even affected? I don't even have any right to feel this way.
She must have moved on. She deserves to be happy anyway.
I'm the one who rejected her right? But why do I feel like I was the one rejected?
T*ngina ang gulo ko rin eh.
"Curt?"someone called worriedly beside me.
I slowly turned my head to the woman who called my name and squinted my eyes. My vision was a bit blurred that I couldn't tell who she was.
But that voice. I know that voice.
Unless I'm just hearing things.
"Oy Curt. Ba't ka naglalasing? Sino kasama mo?"
Then I realized I wasn't hearing things. Pero ibang tao pala yung tumawag sa pangalan ko.
Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako bago lagukin ang inorder kong alak.
Nakita ko na lang sa peripheral vision ko na napapailing si Martha.
"Ba't ba kasi hindi mo pa sabihin sa kanya na gusto mo siya?" Naiinis na reklamo nito.
"What are you talking about?" Walang gana kong tanong habang sinesenyasan yung bartender para umorder ng alak.
"No. Don't give him another shot." Awat niya sa bartender saka humarap sakin. "Seriously? Lahat na ata kami na nakapalibot sa inyo alam na gusto niyo ang isa't-isa maliban sa inyong dalawa eh."
I crinkled my nose because I couldn't find any word to say.
Bigla nalang siyang tumawa.
"Hay nako. Young love nga naman. Why can't you just go straight to the point? And please don't try to deny it. It's too obvious." She sighed.
Napailing na lang ako.
"But it's too late. She can't be with me now. She already got somebody else. " pabulong kong sabi nang nakayuko. Something felt painful somewhere near my heart as I said those words. She didn't hear anything though, thanks to the loud music.
Unti-unti ko nang nararamdaman ang epekto ng alak. Nagsisimula nang umikot ang paligid ko. Mukhang male-late ako nito bukas sa trabaho.
"Sino kasama mo umuwi? Naku kailangan ko na umuwi eh." Nag-aalalang tanong sakin ni Martha.
Ba't ba kasi ako uminom ng mag-isa?
With my palm on my forehead, I held my phone and tried focusing on my contacts. Sino ba pwedeng tawagan?
I was busy scanning my phonebook when it vibrated.
Huh? Someone's calling. And the caller's name is Resh.
Hinatid namin si Curt sa condo niya. Buti nalang talaga at kasama ko si Raphy dahil baka iwan ko tong lalaking to sa kalsada dahil mabigat siya! Sa sobrang kalasingan, ni hindi na maiangat ang mga mata niya.
He looks so stressed and tired. The black circles underneath his eyes told me so. Ano bang pinaggagagawa nito habang nakatravel siya kanina?
"Take your time memorizing every freckle and line on his face, I'd wait for you outside."
Shet. Nakatunganga ba ko sa mukha netong si Curt?
Agad namang nakalabas si Raphy na hindi man lang ako pinatapos sa pagrereact.
Nandito ako ngayon sa kwarto ni Curt. And no, wala akong balak palitan ang damit niya. Hindi naman siya sumuka so I guess he's fine. I just took his shoes off.
"Resh.." sambit niya nang nakangiwi na para bang may naalala siyang hindi maganda.
Hinawi ko yung ilang strands ng buhok na nakaharang sa may mata niya. Ni hindi na siya nagpapagupit. His stubbles are proof that he's not okay. He never lets his mustache grow. He's always been clean looking since I've known him.
I may sound bad and selfish, pero natutuwa ako. Na hindi lang pala ako ang nahihirapan. Hindi lang pala ako yung parang tanga. Pareho lang pala kami. I'm happy to see him like this. Dahil ako ang rason.
Naghanap ako ng gamot sa first aid kit niya at inilagay ito sa kanyang bedside table. May isang baso na rin ng tubig na may nakaipit na note. Kinumutan ko siya at sa huling pagkakataon ay tinitigan ang natutulog niyang mukha.
He keeps saying that he loves me now that he's drunk. Shall I feel happy? I'm not really sure what to feel.
Suddenly, tears fell from his eyes. And with a sad smile, I kissed his tears away.
I don't think I'm ready to fall again.