My crush

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I guess y
ou could say this is a rant diary. It really is'nt though. I decided to write my own diary mainly because I have so much to get of my chest. First of all, my firends are not truthsworthy. They dont mean to just blurt out my deepest most personal secrets...they just do. (I seriously learned that the hard way)

Anyway, something I've been dieting to strip away from my chest is my love life. It's pretty intense despite the fact that I have never dated, nevertheless, been asked out by a boy. Not even in kindergarten when relationships are meaningless.


So yeah my life is probably pretty sad so far, but believe me... It gets better! -not-

So before I start, I would like everyone to understand that I, tend to roam off topic sometimes....ok, not sometimes.

Next thing you should know is that I will be completely honest with you on here. Hopefully no one knows me...and if you do ever find out who I am...please don' continue reading.

Next, I can be a little OCD and if you've noticed yet...I can act a little ADD.
Look it up.

Lastly, don't criticize me, if you want to complain to me about something, just sugar coat it please.

About my crushes and ex crushes.
If you haven't already noticed, I am a girly band geek/nerd. I can sometimes be a prude, but I'll try to act natural and casual when inappropriate topics come up.
I actually hit on orkedorks. (Orkestra-dorks(violin,viola,cello,bass) people)
I play the flute by the way.
I like Asians.
(And as a proud prude, I don't care about the idiotic rumors about Asians having small "things".)
I see them to be super cute.
By Asians I mean Vietnamese, Indian, Japanese, Cambodian , Russian...and the list goes on.
So at my school, band geeks and orkadorks are natural enemies. My band teachers hate the orchestra teachers and vice versa. So if I were to ever explain to friends that I liked someone out of my type bubble... I would be stabbed in my sleep.
Believe me. That once happened to me, not the stabbing part. The fact that my friends ditched me because I actually had the Hotts for a natural enemy. Also know as betrayal.
I'll tell you that story right about now,

Once upon a time, my one year older than me, brother had a friend. Now this friend happened to be in my english class. The second I saw him, I was turned on. He was seriously nothing special.
Just pale skin, brown wavy hair,brown eyes, glasses, terrible case of black heads... And an orkadork.

He played the cello.

So I liked him...a lot. My whole 6th grade year I was freakishly in love with this kid. In 7th grade, I had the guts to admit my love for him to my friends. At first when the musical war wasn't going on, my friend ash thought this whole ship was cute.
My brother didn't talk to him as often in 7th grade though.
I tried to figure more about him.
I found out he was an emo orkadork with average grades. Here I am, remember. I'm the girly band geek/nerd, so we are complete and total opposites. So toward the few months of 7th grade, he started sitting with me on the bus. So I suspected maybe my friends would have somehow told him, or maybe my brother?

To this day I do not know. So I got to know him a little bit better. So right when things shoot up for the good... He tells me he has a crush on one of my friends. This friend also happens to be emo. And in orkestra. And totally his type.
So I'm over here completely dumbfounded. I'm like "wow, good for you!". Right when I feel like things can't get even worse, he becomes friends with other emo girl. Who also is in orkestra. And totally his type.

In 8th grade they start to go out with each other.


Why can't I have a tragic life?! Why can't i bring myself to play the stupid violin?! Why can't I talk about anime and sketching and dying my hair black with ridiculous punk hair cuts?!?!?!


So yeah.

That was an interesting summer of getting over a hottie whom I've been in love with for two years.

Very painful.

So anyway.
This year I finally got over him and went with my usual route with Asians.
If you are wondering if I'm asian... I'm not.

I am actually a perfect mix between Hispanic and white. Which means I don't burn in the sun... I tan.
But that's if I go in the sun. Otherwise I'm a paper white during the winter when the sun doesn't come out. I have brown hair that has a tendency to turn an orange ,coppery color in the summer time and black in the winter.

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