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"When she's happy

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"When she's happy... I'll desapear." She says clutching her head in pain. "Ahhhhh!" She falls to her knees. Tears appear in her eyes. I run to her and try to comfort her. But as my hand tries to tuch her it goes through her. I can see everything through her, she's transparent. Like a gost. "She's found love, a family, a life and most of all... The start-" She cried in pain. Her image flickering Infront of me. No. No. I can't lose her. Not again. I cried as I tryed with all my might to grab her, but I just watch as my hands clutch emty air, with only an imagine if her. She lookes at me and rises to her feet. "The start of happiness." Her hand reaches my cheek and she leans in to kiss me.

It was a dream. It was only a dream. No. No. That wasn't only a dream. I knew it would happen. I know it will. I sob into my hands, I'm not the kind of guy who cries, but for her. For her I have done everything I can. My door opens, I hear footsteps. I know who it is but I can't look her in the eyes. Not now. A hand rests on my shoulder a voice speaks to me, "four? You okay? I'm here. It's okay. It was only a dream." I hate being comforted and Why does everyone, even me say the same?! It's only a dream!?It won't happen!?! But I know it will. I'll lose her again, and again. I wipe my eyes on my hands trying to make Nat not notice, but she does. My nightmares are worse this week, tomorrow will be her death-anivercity. She sits infront of me. "What is it?" She asks and as I look up, expecting to see pity. I see confusion. I look down at my now clenched fists. "Her essence flickers every time we're happy. Why? Why do I have to see her in pain? Why again?" Now I look up, she is crying now. Did she know this was going to happen? Of course she knew. I accidently let a sound inbetween a moan, sign and a sob through my mouth. I love her so much. I feel two skinny arms wrap around me and drops of water falling into my shoulder. I pull back to see her in the eyes. "We'll loose her won't we?" I ask and she burst into tears, gripping the sheets as stong as her little knuckles let her. She nods, "seems like whatever we do, no matter what... We'll loose her either way." She looks at me, pain written all over her face. "We're human and it's only fair for us to find happiness. We always do in time. We just have to apreaciate every moment a lot more than others do...Cause she is unique and if I'm gonna loose her... I might as well be with her 'till the end'" she says smilling sadly, with huge effort. She's right. Dang it  why does life have to be so unfair?!

I barely slept yesterday, on Sunday, Saturday and Friday. I couldn't, not after I'd been with her on Friday while Nat was at her date. She'd decided to see me since she didn't want to do anything else. She was soo happy for Nat. Her daughter had found a 'soulmate'. But then she fell... and her pain was unbearable. It was only for a few minutes and she was back to normal. Wierd. She says this happens every so often. When we are happy. She said "it's like my presence is being forced to split into pieces and sent one of them away. Disappearing little by little... one day when you're happy... When you don't need me. I'll leave." I let the hot water flow through me, letting my thouts to calm themsleves. Knock. Knock. I grabed my towel, jumping out of the bath and drying myself. I wrapped it around my waist and opened the door. A smilling Nat was there, standing at my door with an apple in her mouth and a phone in her hand. She looked up to me and waves with her free hand. She sat down and took the apple from between her teeth. "Hey. Wanna do something fun." She grinned, today is Monday and we usually go do wierd stuff that we call fun. I laugh and pull my clothes on. "Sure! What shall we do today?" I asked smilling at her. She pulled her eyebrows together thinking and then snaped her fingers. "Oh I know exactly what we will do!" Oh yeah, here we go.

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