The Big Fight

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Before you read this, please know that this book is based on my personal experiences.

Do you ever have that feeling where a small part of your soul dies? That happens to me basically every time I remember the day my parents split up. When I say split I mean before all of the legal stuff happened. When you know something is different than normal. When you can see them drifting apart, falling out of love.

I always thought my parents would be together forever. I didn't know I would just become another statistic. When I look back at the photo albums I can see the love in their eyes, that spark that you can't find anywhere else except in true love, but there's one thing wrong with that. I no longer believe in true love, possibly not any love.

Everything was going according to how I pictured my life would go. I had the best siblings, the best parents, and the best friends. For the next week something felt weird all of a sudden, I don't know how or why, it just did. It's almost like I had butterflies in my stomach, but instead of butterflies it was a thousand wasps stinging every part of my soul. Something felt wrong then it hit me.

There was a hurricane going outside of my room. The weather was beautiful but all I could hear was chaos, nothing but screaming, yelling, cussing. None of the things you would want to say around an eight year old kid, but that's exactly what happened. I was so afraid. I was afraid to leave my room, to get up, I was afraid to move. I wish I could forget that night but it is forever implanted into my brain.

I couldn't focus, I couldn't think, I couldn't even cry because I didn't have enough tears left in me. Sleep kept evading me, I never slept, my eyes were tired, my brain was tired, I was tired.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop thinking about how their fight was my fault. It's cliché to say, "We both love you very much and we always will, but ..." There's almost always a but, "... your dad and I think its best for us to not be together anymore."

One day my friend finally asked me "Hey, how are you feeling? You aren't the same as you used to be?" I replied with tears filling my eyes, "Last week my parents had a huge fight and I haven't stopped thinking about it." That was the last time I spoke of the big fight.

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