A few days after your outing with Sebastian, you finally had a doctor's appointment. Your pregnancy would be official. Up until now, everything has felt so surreal that you weren't sure what you would feel when you had proof.
"Why are you so nervous?" Sebastian laughs, as he wanders the room, looking at various baby pictures, cringing at disturbing childbirth diagrams, and laughably avoiding a few visual aids you were desperately hoping your doctor wouldn't be using today,
"I don't know!" You huff, "I just can't sit still." The longer you waited for your doctor, the more you were tapping your toes, drumming your fingers, and ultimately making a surprisingly loud racket in the generally quiet room.
"It's not like it'll be surprise news or anything, and our little photo shoot was supposed to help you relax."
He moves to stand behind you where you sit on the exam table and begins rubbing your shoulders.
"It's not exactly an easy situation."
He stops massaging, wrapping his arms across your chest and pulling you back against him. He rests his chin on your head with a sigh,
"No, it's not easy. But it doesn't have to be this stressful."
You let the silence grow between you, hesitating with what you know you have to bring up next,
"I feel like we should talk this through. Just make sure we're on the same page."
"Sure... But I don't know what exactly there is to talk about. I'm here for whatever you need, however exclusively you need it."
"How can you know you'll still feel like that in five years? Or ten? Or even two? I mean, we aren't together, and I think us pushing ourselves into a relationship because we're having a baby is a recipe for an unhappy marriage. So what happens when you're ready to settle down with someone? Or when the two of you start a real family?"
"A real family?" His voice is tinged with hurt,
"I mean-- I just-- you know what I mean." You stutter.
He sighs heavily, working his way slowly around the exam table, thinking carefully about something as he stands in front of you. Hesitating a few times before beginning, he finally lets himself speak,
"For twelve years, I didn't have a father." He begins, reluctantly, "Most of my formative years, I didn't know what it was like to have a man there to talk to, play catch with, to teach me... Whatever dads normally teach their sons. My mom was amazing, don't get me wrong, and I don't think she could have done a better job of raising me... But it hurt not having a father. When she met my step dad, and I caught a glimpse of what I was missing, I swore I would never do that. My kids would always have their dad. And I would make sure I was a good one for them." His voice wavers slightly, emotion weighing it down,
You fight back the tears, taking a few deep breaths, hoping to suppress the lump in your throat. You hadn't discussed your families in depth like this before. While you knew that his dad split before he was born, you didn't realize how affected he was by it.
"Well..." You clear your throat, trying to regain your voice, "as long as we're on the same page."
For once, you're the one who pulls him to you, seeing the pain he exposed, you wrapped your arms around his waist, hugging him tight across his middle, your cheek resting just below his heart. You feel him hug you back, curling down over you, sighing again, sharply this time, trying to expel the hurt caused by a man he couldn't even call father.
"I'm always going to be there. For both of you." He whispers.
You stay like that for several minutes, leaning into each other, until you're interrupted by your doctor walking in. Sebastian straightens up and steps aside slightly, though he keeps his hand on your lower back,
"Good afternoon, Y/N, how are you feeling today?"
"Fine." You shrug,
"And I don't think we've been introduced..." She extends a hand to Sebastian,
"Doctor Yoon, this is my--, this is-- uh..." You flounder, not knowing how to introduce him, your friend? Your almost boyfriend?
"Sebastian." He jumps in, shaking her hand easily, "I'm the father. It's nice to meet you."
Ah, you suppose you could introduce him as that...
"Nice to meet you as well." She replies, taking a seat, "So as I understand it, you are estimating about ten weeks along." She begins,
"Well, I can tell you the day it happened, so it's not exactly an estimate." You reply with a chuckle,
"And you're sure of the date?"
You nod,
"Just trying to be thorough." She assures with a pleasant smile, she snaps on a pair of rubber gloves, instructing you to lie back,
"If you'd like more privacy for this..." She says gently, speaking to you but nodding her head toward Sebastian, "it's not uncommon, we have a waiting area right outside the door."
You consider it for a moment, but then the thought of asking him to leave clenches your heart and your nerves bubble up again.
"No, it's fine." She gives a nod and a small smile, then proceeds.
After your routine physical telling you what you already knew. You were out of shape, but nothing to cause health concerns, blood pressure was normal, no surprise illnesses, and of course you were around two months pregnant, she then began the medical history interrogation.
Okay, it wasn't actually and interrogation, but it almost felt that way at times.
She was very thorough, building a comprehensive background for you and Sebastian, determining there was nothing abnormal to worry about during this pregnancy.
"So, one last thing and you'll be free to go." Dr. Yoon says, having you sit back in the exam table and pulling a monitor closer, "I just want to do a quick ultrasound and that'll be all for today."
She switches on the contraption, spreading a gel over a small paddle. You lay back again, the cold gel making you shiver as it slides across your lower belly.
You're trying to slow your breathing. Just stay calm. You really do try not to twitch in surprise when Sebastian slips his hand into yours.
Then you hear it.
An odd thump. Muffled. Rhythmic.
A heartbeat.
"There we are." She says, turning the monitor toward you and Sebastian. She maneuvers the ultrasound wand a little bit more, "You see this here?" She points to a small dark spot on the screen. You both nod,
"Say hello to your baby."
Your baby.
You are going to have a baby.
With Sebastian.
You hear him take a deep breath beside you, covering a sniffle, as he plants a kiss on your temple, never taking his eyes off the screen. You still can't believe it. All the emotions, worries, and anxieties that you'd been feeling that you thought were rooted in fear, come crashing over you as a fierce protectiveness.
You can do this.
You will do this.
You do want this.
You're having a baby.
With your best friend.
