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Why is it that things never work out the way we plan? Things never seem to go how we want. What is that? I think they call it life... Whatever... I call it the Universe fucking shit up... Why can't we just be happy? Why does everything have to always suck?... Sorry if I sound a little erratic, but with the year I've had you'd think life sucks too. I guess I'll start from the beginning. Well not the beginning of my life, but I'll start from when my world came crashing down.
Sunday, April 1st
"Mom, dad lets go we're gonna be late." I yelled up the stairs.
"We're coming sweetie, just give us a minute." She yelled back. 'God, how long does it take to change clothes?' I thought to myself as I walked in the kitchen to help myself to some of my sister's soda. She hated when I took her stuff without asking. That's really the only reason why I did it.
Oh, by the way I'm Ashley Davies, but most people just call me Ash for short.
I have three sisters and one brother. My oldest sister Anna is 24, she doesn't live with us though she lives with her boyfriend and daughter. My brother Adrian is 22, yes he still lives at home with his parents, pathetic right? Aubrey she's 20, God does she get on my nerves, it's her stuff that I'm always taking. It was my mom's idea to name us all with A names.
So cliché, I know And the youngest Kyla she's 18 too (only 3 months younger than me), technically she's my half sister because she's only my dad's child.
Yeah my dad and my mom split for a minute and my dad decided to play house with another woman.
Anyway, Kyla and I are the closest, I guess because we both feel like the outsiders of the family. For a while my mom didn't really like her and treated her mean when my dad wasn't around but I always took up for her which made us extremely close. But anyway that's my family. Oh, my mom's name is Christine and my dad's name is Raife. They're both very successful business people so money has never been an object for my family. It's a blessing, but also a curse.
"Ashley sweetie," My mom said almost yelling.
"Jeez mom, I'm standing right next to you don't have to yell." I said getting up from the bar stool and throwing the empty can away that had Aubrey's name on it.
"We'll I've been calling your name for like the past five minutes and you weren't answering so..."
"So you decided to give me a migraine?" I said sarcastically.
"Oh hush, I barely raised my voice. Your father is waiting in the car." she said putting on her jacket.
"Mom it's like 200 hundred degree's outside, why are you wearing a jacket?" I asked walking into the living room to grab my bag.
"It might be cold in the building." She said following behind me.
"Okay, whatever. I'm taking my car so you and dad can just follow me." I said opening up the front door.
"Why don't you just ride with your father and I sweetie?"
"Because." I said casually.
"Because is not an answer Ashley, I've told you that a hundred times."
"Mom, look I want to take my car, is that a crime?" I asked frivolously.
"Okay, fine. But hurry or we're going to be late." She said walking over to the passenger side of my dad's 2008 Chevy Impala.
"Not my fault," I yelled behind me as I opened the garage door to get my baby out. A 2008 BMW 725i, God do I love my car. I pulled out and was followed by my dad.
We're on our way to Kyla's pre-graduation thing. I forget what they're called. The rest of my family is already there, I had to be the one to volunteer to wait for my parents to get home, they both suck with directions, so I said I'd stay and show them how to get there. We're here, and as much as I love my sister, I can't wait for this to be over.
Wishes do come true. It wasn't as long as I thought it would be, only an hour. A few speakers, a couple songs and some remarks from the principal and we're home free. After the ceremony my family and few of Kyla's friends and their parents went out to dinner. It was the longest hour and a half of my life.
What is it with moms and the need to tell embarrassing baby stories about their children?
Good thing my friend Josie was here or I don't think I would have made it.
Actually Josie's not really a friend, she's more like... how do I say this nicely, she's a benefit without the friend part, but I didn't want to be alone so I called and asked her to come.
All my actual friends were too busy. By the way I'm gay, well bisexual but mostly I'm attracted to girls.
My parents know and to my surprise they were really cool about it.
I honestly thought my mom would freak out but she was totally okay with it.
I came out about 6 years ago.
But I've known since I was eleven. My mom is always asking me stupid questions like, how did you know? And what's the difference between sex with a girl and sex with a guy? Some things parents should just know not to ask. But believe it or not I talk to my dad about those types of things. We're extremely close. He's also a really great listener.
And so is my therapist. But we don't really do much talking in my sessions. Yeah, I'm banging my therapist. She's only 28 if that makes it any better. No?... didn't think it would. Well I've been in therapy for about a year now, I started having nightmares about the guy that used to abuse me when I was younger so my parents decided to send me to therapy. Best thing they ever did for me if you know what I mean. Tomorrow's my last session actually.
Doc thinks I'm cured. Cured of what exactly, my debaucheries? my inability to be in a relationship without cheating? Whatever she 'thinks' I'm cured of, it's definitely not those things. Maybe it's just the nightmares. She may be right I haven't had one for almost six months now. Maybe I should say they've come back so she'll keep seeing me. I knew that once the therapy sessions stop so would our hot and heated sessions. There was no way we could keep it going without my parents finding out. I didn't want her to lose her job or anything. If tomorrow was going to be our last session, I was going to make damn sure it would be our best.
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