Chapter #31: Get What You Deserve

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P.S. It's not over yet.

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I sat, my hands folded, on the left side of the bed.

Evan sat to the right of me, his head leaning heavily against the headboard. It was silent, nothing but our breathing and the heavy rain could be heard. My eyes gently moved to the right as I watched the raindrops slide down the end of my window. The moon was so bright, it was illuminating the rest of our bedroom, without a light or a lamp on.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, we weren't in a comfortable silence. The air was thick, and the tension was at an all time high. After our ordeal in the bathroom, I had guided him to our bedroom and lead him to our bed. He put the sheets over his body, not a word spoken. I wanted to look at his eye, kiss the area like I always did, but I knew that he wouldn't like that right now. It was really hard to hold back from looking at it, and seeing the odd colors that come out, or poke it and see if it hurt him.

I watched as he tried to get comfy and I resumed to settle into the warmth of the bed. I didn't know what Evan thought my intentions were- if I had broken up with him or if he was the one who broke up with me. I couldn't quite understand anything that was going on really; everything was so unsettling. I was hoping that he wasn't thinking that this was broken forever. Just the thought alone made me swallow hard.

I couldn't see myself with another man, but him.

Although it was hard to tell what this rough patch really was in our relationship.

"I didn't have sex with Asher," I suddenly croaked, and stared as the rain droplets got bigger. He didn't speak or move, so I continued to begin to explain myself. This was my chance; without any interruptions. "I would never have sex with Asher."

He didn't respond. My voice got louder and shakier. "I don't know what that son of a bitch told you, or tried to convince you, but I can lay down the fact that I did not have sex with him nor did we have anything near a close, physically involved relationship. That is just disgusting and I wouldn't be able to do that. However," I choked on my spit, something I found myself constantly doing, and swallowed down the lump in my throat. It was hard for me to speak. "However, I did kiss him. He kissed me, and I kissed back. We've held hands. We've flirted. Whatever you consider flirting."

At this point, the air was thick. I could feel Evan flex his arms below the sheets. I knew he was angry, just by glancing at him for one second then turning back. It was like every word I said, he'd move away from me in the bed. We were sitting so far from one another, and my nerves were getting out of hand.

"I don't know what he told you, I really don't, but I'm so sorry- so fucking sorry that you had to believe the false implication of your own girlfriend having sex with another man. I'm so sorry you had to think of that at a time and place like this, and I'm sorry that I didn't know what he was telling you until just now. Evan, I'm sorry about what I've done."

"Just know I never had any bad intentions, I never wanted something out of any of that. I truly lost hope, and I feel disgusted saying that, but I did. I lost hope that you'd ever wake up, because no one ever seems to wake up again on me. Your concussion was so powerful that even the doctors were convinced you wouldn't wake up," I cleared my voice. I noticed Evan had turned his head to look at me.

"I don't think you understand how terrible it was for me to have to visit my own boyfriend- the love of my life- everyday, and be told to leave after hours 'cause they had to check your pulses and IV's. I don't think you understand how rough it was for me to walk into that damn hospital everyday, with hopes that you'd wake up, then being told that you now had a mechanical pulse helping you breath, cause there were no signs of improvement," at this point, I was in tears and I couldn't hold them back. My eyes ached from the abundance of tears. "I'm not trying to make this about myself, but please believe me when I say that I couldn't visit you anymore, and that Asher was there every single day of you not being here. I'm humiliated to even say that, but I cannot lie to you. That's the truth."

Bad Boys Aren't Forever (SEQUEL to The Bad Boy Saved My Life) #Wattys2016Read this story for FREE!