Walking in the Shadows - SAMPLE

Chapter Five

When I woke up the next morning I was lying on the floor in my mangled sheets. Makeup could do nothing for the red streaks in my eyes and the purple circles that lay beneath them. I had slept for a total of two hours between nightmares and fits of anger and sadness. God or whoever the hell was up there had to hate me. Why did I deserve this? I had done nothing wrong in my whole life. I hadn't told anyone anything about how my parents' deaths had ripped me apart, or how I felt that the murders were more related than anyone thought-was that it? Was I that bad of a person? Some sort of pathological liar that never quite said anything about the things that hurt so much?

Tad's class was the first class of the day and I, of course, had forgotten the assignment. I cursed at myself for forgetting it. We were supposed to pick a favorite song to play for the class and explain why we loved it so much. The only music I had on my phone that morning was angry. I had switched out the memory cards before leaving for school that morning and had left all my easy music at home. It wasn't quite angry music, but it wasn't anything quite appropriate for a British Literature class, even if it was more an assignment to get to know one another.

I somehow ended up being the first one in the classroom and crept to the back of the room hiding my emotional wreck of a face. I should have stayed home. I could hear Tad's shoes as he approached, but I refused to look up. He stopped at my desk and knocked on it.

"Hello Vera?"

"Good morning, Mr. Knightley,"

"It's rude not to look at someone when they're speaking to you."

I watched his fingers tapping the desk.

"Good morning, Mr. Knightley," I repeated, but this time I looked up at him.

As he took my pale face in his hands, Tad clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut, "Vera..." he began with his voice an excruciating whisper.

When he opened his eyes I gave him a weak smile.

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this," I said.

"No, I did this!" he replied as his hands became fists clenched to his sides.

"No, it's my fault; there is so much I should have told you. I've been so very stupid," I whispered.

"I should have known," he said, his eyes still bearing down.

"How could you? Do I appear like a normal seventeen year old outside of this place?" I asked.

"Seventeen?"

"Eighteen... in two weeks."

"Well, that's not too bad then," Tad commented, his eyes finding the ceiling.

"We never did anything that my age would have mattered," I replied, and I couldn't help but keep my eyes locked on his face as I tried to decipher his thoughts.

"I still thought of-" he began, but at that moment students began to pile in, and I went back to looking through the songs on my phone. I wasn't thinking of music anymore and instead was thinking about what he was going to say. My stomach was fluttering, but soon it settled. When I looked up Tad was Mr. Knightley again.

He clapped his hands, and I jumped, causing laughter from someone nearby. "Umm...okay class, we have a two hour block, so we'll be able to get through everyone today. This was an easy assignment, so I hope everyone is prepared. We'll just go down the rows in order."

"Aren't you going to let us in on what your favorite song is? And why? I mean it's only fair that you join us," the girl in the front row cooed. She was the one who was sugar sweet to him on the first morning of class. Now she leaned forward, chin in palm.

"I knew you would ask, Lily, so I'm prepared," he answered. From the way he was flipping through the songs on his phone I could tell that he was as prepared as I was. His shoulders tensed as he hit a particular song, and for a moment he stared at the screen. Then his shoulders relaxed, "Yes, here it is...The Police...Don't Stand So Close to me."

I watched as the girls around me leaned forward on their hands as they day dreamt that they were that girl and he was that teacher. I soon found myself trying to shrink away into my chair as my face went red with resentment. He had turned my favorite song around on me.

"That was beautiful Mr. Knightley, The Police are so awesome," Lily commented, fluttering her eye lashes.

Tad was leaning against his desk looking down at his shoes and when he looked up he didn't look at her, but at me. "Exactly, Lily."

"Are they your favorite band?" Lily asked, and I was surprised she could contain her drooling as she stared at his defined chest through his starched blue collar shirt and matching tie.

"Yes they are," he lied. He knew they were my favorite, and that was the only reason they were on his play list at all. "Your turn, Lily."

It was at that point that I stopped listening to anything that was going on in the class room. I sat fuming at him as I tried my hardest to keep the thought of us listening to that song out of my mind, but in the end I couldn't. I took a deep breath as I felt the emotions hit me. Tad laughed as we spun around his living room; he dipped me as he sang the words into my ear. His breath was a tease against my neck, and when he pulled me back into his arms his lips instantly found mine.

"Vera? Vera, it's your turn," Tad's voice broke into my thoughts.

"Sorry Mr. Knightley," I sputtered, and it felt as though everyone was staring at my pale, haggard face as I walked up to the front of the room staring at my cell phone, "Uh...I am...need to...find the song."

The classroom exploded with cruel laughter as I tripped over my own feet, but it ceased when Tad spoke. "I'm not sure what any of you are laughing at."

"Blessthefall, Skinwalkers," I said with tones of 'you can all screw yourselves'.

"A chick that likes heavy music-that's hot," one of the guys in the room commented.

Tad kicked the jerk's desk and the room echoed with the sound of the metal as the provocative music began to play. As I listened to the words of the song I could feel Tad's eyes on me, and I found myself staring at my feet, praying I could keep the tears down. Why had I chosen this song? Because it was the first one I thought of? Or because I thought it would hurt him, when in reality it hurt me?

"Why that song, Vera?" Tad's voice had an edge to it, but it only made me wonder more what my choice had done to him.

"Umm...it's a good song. I like how the band mixes the light singing with the heavy beats and screaming. I guess you never know who you can trust either."

"Bret, you're up next," Tad moved on with his voice flat. I knew he no longer had an interest in his own assignment, and it was because I had hit a nerve.