Wild Rides - A Balding Truck Driver Romance

Ch. 1 The Hitchhiker

*** Earl

Picking up a hitchhiker - what the devil was he thinking? The girl might look like a bedraggled kitten, meowing pitifully to be let in out of the rain coming down like buckets of ice water, but most likely she was some lot lizard, hoping for quick buck and dry place for an hour.

"Get in if you're coming," Earl growled at the dripping wet woman who was paused in the act of clambering in his cab, fog coating her enormous glasses.

"It's just that I can't, I can't-" she protested.

"Take my hand and get in!" he ordered, leaning way over. His rounded paunch slowed him only the slightest. The work of many, many canned beers and many more miles behind the wheel instead of exercising, his belly was his pride and his second best feature. He caught the girl's hand and yanked hard, pulling her up and over.

She landed on his face, her ample breasts cushioning the blow with delightful bounciness. Letting out a squeal of surprise, she wiggled free and fell sideways. He caught her with strong, mannishly-hairy arms before she could slip onto the floorboard.

"Oh," she whispered. Her lips held that lovely 'O' shape and her eyebrows appeared above her plastic, tortoise shell frames.

"Oh," he echoed in reply. It had escaped his mouth. He didn't usually let himself show surprise - or weakness. This was no little girl, and certainly no lot lizard, either. There was a young woman in his impromptu embrace, and she was a sunset behind lush rounded hills after a long day's drive. She was a Banana Split Sundae with extra-large scoops of ice-cream and a cherry on top. She was trouble with a capital T just waiting to happen and he was in the mood for detention.

"Oh," she breathed again, her glasses and face turning back and forth and cheeks flushing, but what she could see through the grey haze on her lenses was anyone's guess.

"Where are you headed?" he prodded. He pushed himself up and righted her in the seat with smooth expertise that only professionals with ten years of driving under their belts can hope to achieve.

She started to cry. There were soft sniffles at first, then the furtive swipes at her cheeks.

"Hey," he cajoled, handing her a clean handkerchief that he kept for emergencies in the glove compartment. "Blow your nose. It's gonna be OK. What's your name?"

"Blossom," she gasped between her quiet sobs. She blew her nose noisily.

"All right, Blossom. You're in good hands. I'm Earl and this here's my eighteen wheeler. Together, we'll get you where you need to go. My next job is in 5 days. Plenty of time to get you home and me to where I need to be afterwards."

"Can you really take me home? To Quaintville, Idaho? It's so far, but I don't have any money. I can't call my parents - my mom was in a freak, carnival magician's show accident and doesn't remember anything for more than ten minutes, and my father-" her voice broke and she cried into the hanky. "I can't call my father."

This woman's plight had some loser ex-boyfriend plastered on billboards all over it. "Quaintville, Idaho?" he mused, thoughtfully. He had driven through there once about seven years ago, doing a haul of pumpkins for the biggest pumpkin pie ever contest.

"If that's too far-"

"No, it's not too far. Driving is what I do." He could be there in 18.8 hours of driving or two and a half days with the required resting periods. But that would be too fast for what he had in mind. "We'll be there in four days."

"I can pay when we get there. My grandmother who died devoured by hedgehogs left me a set of pearls-"

"Hey, easy. Hold up. I'm sure we can arrange something better than your grandmother's jewels for payment."

"Tickets for the Redneck's Emporium?" she inquired, blinking her wide, mocha-coffee eyes (laced with gold sprinkles) at him.

He could finally see those enormous, innocent orbs through her thick glasses. "Don't worry, you're with me now. You're in very good hands."

Earl revved his engine to life.

**** A/N

Blossom has climbed into Earl's truck, innocently unsuspecting of any hidden agendas! What does Earl really have in mind? How did she get stranded in that parking lot? Who is her ex-boyfriend? Just how big was that pumpkin pie, anyway? If you have ideas or one liners you are dying to contribute, do not hesitate! Next stop, chapter two where I think we'll find more of Earl's cab and quite possibly the first glimpse of his den of desire. <3