Chapter Thirty One

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I groaned as I was awoken by yet another bout of screaming and crying from Evelyn. I clamped my pillow over my ears, then felt an arm drape over my waist. I flipped over to see Martin directly behind me. He gave a little sigh and hummed against the back of my neck. I patted his shoulder with my hand.


"Please tell me that all babies do not cry like that."

"My sisters all stayed like that for three years. They were brats." Martin suddenly shot bolt up right.

"Three years?!" He exclaimed.

"Shush. And we can deal with our children once we get to that." I tucked a hand under my pillow and rested my head down. "Also, I cannot believe that Daniel actually allows you to sleep in my bed with me."

"I suppose the baby has thawed his heart a little bit. Maybe it will thaw even more once we have a child, or once your other sisters have children. Then, perhaps, we will be able to live far away." I giggled.

"It would be quite nice if we could live nearer your family. Maybe we could live in Paris."

"You would really move that far away?"

"Yes. Why not?"

"Daniel would never let you." I sighed and propped myself up on the headboard.

"I honestly could not care less if he allows me to go. It will, in the end, be my decision anyway. Mine and yours." I grabbed his hand with a smile. My ring brushed against the back of it. He also propped up slightly on his elbow. The crying could still be heard. "I might walk about the manor. There is not any way that I will be able to sleep with that noise."

"I will write a letter to my brothers to see if we can visit. Then, if we like it there, we could begin looking for our own home." I smiled and nodded.

"That would be nice. I would very much like to meet your family." I got off of the bed and pulled a light, silky night-gown over my night gown to keep me warm. I also picked up the candle from my dressing table, lit it and stepped outside of the room.

The crying was louder in the corridor. I spotted one of the nursemaids running out of the nursery with a yellow stain on her shoulder. She looked shaken.

"Are you alright?" I whispered. She shivered.

"Not one other baby I have ever seen in my life has held so much vomit inside its body." I snickered slightly. "Sorry to ask, miss, but would you also be able to see if there is anything you can do?"

"I would love to, but I haven't ever looked after a baby before."

"That child is a terror. A small, week old child is usually not that awful." She dug her fingernails into her palms. "It won't stop crying." I moved past her and pushed the door open. Another nursemaid was waving a rattle in the baby's face in an attempt to calm it down. I sighed and placed my candle down. The woman looked at me, her eyes bloodshot and red.

"Let me hold her." She laid the baby in my hands and stepped away, as if she was some kind of live grenade. Evelyn wriggled slightly, crying. I picked up a bottle of milk from inside a bucket of warm water. I checked the temperature on my wrist before popping it into her mouth. She silenced immediately, the screaming replaced by a quiet, sucking sound. The nursemaid gave a sigh of relief.

"She would not take the bottle from any of us."

"She might have just woken up as babies tend to do. Perhaps the crying made her hungry."

"Or perhaps she just likes you better than us." She placed a hand on my shoulder. I giggled when Evelyn hiccupped.

"Maybe it is because of our family bond." I continued making excuses, praying that I would not be lumbered with a child who wasn't mine. Once I had a child, I was determined to look after him or her myself, and not let any nursemaid be more of a mother to the child than me. I understood why my sister had done it, since she was so young herself and was never allowed near our youngest sibling, given that she was only a few years older than her, but I was considered old enough to help in caring for the babies. When I say caring, I mean shoving every toy possible into their face until they ceased their crying. I know a little bit more about young children now, but I still know enough to not need a nursemaid. Besides, I would never let Martin hire one anyway.

I left the room once Evelyn had fallen asleep and opened up my bedroom door again. Martin was facing away from me, still scribbling out a letter to his family. I smiled, sliding the door shut slowly. My bare feet began to grow cold on the wooden flooring, so I made my way to the stairs which were covered in thick carpet. I descended them, making sure that none of the wax from my candle dripped down to ruin the carpet.

Every room was pitch black, except for the kitchen which was being used to prepare fruits and vegetables for the next day's meals. One cook was accompanied by a sole candle in the black room, and the rhythmic tapping of the knife against the cutting board was like music to my ears. I smiled, entering the main study. My candle immediately illuminated the entire room. I swept through the study and into the lounge. One of the sofas had a thin blanket draped over it, and under that blanket was my sister, Caroline. I set the candle down on the low table and shook Caroline slightly to wake her. Her cheeks were stained and her eyes were squeezed shut tightly. She shot up from my touch, looking as if she was going to pounce on me for waking her. I held onto her shoulders gently.

"Why aren't you sleeping in your bed?" I asked in a hush, as if I would startle mother. Caroline ducked her head.

"I cannot sleep in there."

"Why?" She shook her head. "Listen," I sat on the end of the sofa with my arms still around her tightly. "I do not know what happened while I was away, but I am your eldest sister, and you know that I will keep any secrets which you tell me." She took a deep breath.

"About a month ago, I had a terrible nightmare. A man was waiting at my window, and his shadow hung over me. Well, a week after that, I began seeing this figure everywhere. In my room, outside, by the stables, in the study. When I walked off after you came home, I had seen the figure behind you. I have no idea who the man is but I do not want to feel this way anymore." Her eyes filled with tears. "And then, just two weeks ago, I saw a man beside this shop. He was smoking, and wearing a long, leather coat." The tears began to fall down her cheeks as she spoke. "He saw me looking at him and, upon seeing a vulnerable, wealthy lady who was on her own, he jumped at me. Sliced at my clothing with a small blade, took my coin purse, ruined everything in my bags and even managed to cut a lot of my hair off." She took her hair out of the ribbon and it hung at only shoulder length. "Mother trimmed it so that it looked tidy, but I still remember the inaccuracy of his blade. How he cut the back of my neck, my shoulder, my leg, my hands. I thought I was going to die." She suddenly clung to me, sobbing loudly into my shoulder. "I was terrified."

"He cannot reach you now, Caroline. What were you doing out alone?"

"Holden had taken mother, Daniel, Helena and Delia out for a meal but I was feeling particularly ill. I decided that some fresh air would be good for me and took a stroll into town. I did some shopping for gifts and then..." She quickly trailed off. I patted her back again, shushing her sobbing.

"It's alright. No one can hurt you. I won't tell mother or Daniel." She took a deep breath and held it, before another bout of shaky sobs burst from her lips.

"He tried to touch me." She didn't have to explain further.

"I will not let anyone else near you. Not in a million years. I am staying right here with you." I pushed her back slightly and wiped her eyes with my thumbs. "You lay down and try to get some more rest. I will stay right beside you. Let me grab you some water." I stood up as Caroline laid down. Her face was still facing towards me, but she had brought the pillow up to shield her eyes. I picked up my candle and swept towards the kitchen. Once there, I picked up a small cup and filled it with water from the large pail in the corner. I dried the sides off with a dish towel before taking it back to Caroline. "It is still quite cold from earlier today. I hope that is alright."

"Yes. That's fine." She propped herself up on her elbow. She pressed her cold lips to the rim of the cup. I kissed her forehead as she set down the cup.

"Rest up. I am going to stay here. Would you like me to keep the candle lit?" She nodded gently, so gently that I barely noticed the small movement. I smiled and sat back in my chair. Her eyes slid shut and she looked more comfortable than she had previously. Her breathing slowed to a light snore within mere seconds. I settled at that, and grabbed my own blanket from a pile on the table. I pulled it up to my shoulders and set my head on the back of the chair. I was asleep after around an hour.



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