Twenty Eight : Hitting Reality

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Chapter Twenty Eight: Hitting Reality


Hey so if you want the song I used to write this chapter was

James Arthur- Promises (teaser song)


It's so dark, It's hard to breath, I can't move.
I'm trying to get out.
I can't stay in here.
I am screaming.
No one can hear me.
I am trying to get out, I can't I can't.
My heart is beating so fast.
My breaths are shorter, even shallow.
I close my eyes. I drift into my last thoughts.
I take my last breath....

C. Whitlock


When I was 15 my English teacher told us to go search for a poem that was dark and had a deeper meaning than the actual poem . I just landed across this when I was trying to find one . I had no idea what the poem was about ...there was many ways of viewing it, personally it reminded me of Alice in wonderland when Alice fell into the hole.

She had I choice

I didn't

Thinking about the C.Whitlock poem made so much sense three years later. It was like seeing my future in a poem that was written a long time ago . It opened so many emotions and imaginary images for me .

C.whitlock poem was about dying . The fight for survival and not wanting to stay in the light but with all the strength all they were able to do was accept the truth and begin
getting ready to leave......

My exact feeling when I closed my eyes. I was finally accepting it . I was so scared before but it was for the best ...there was a reason for everything and God did not want me to stay on that cruel earth. But leaving Zayn was heart breaking...although I've only known him for a few weeks almost a month I genuinely fell in love with him ...not because I was dying but because I was finally seeing him the real him . The guy who I was curious about ,why he acted the way he acted and why he looked at me like he's seen me before .

It was all for me

I don't know where I am now..everything is just dark . I can't even see myself . Is this how death is ? Painless ? Numb ? Empty ? Is there even an afterlife ? So much thoughts ran through my mind until I saw something bright was too bright for the human eye to handle but it was bearable for me. The white light began to expand coming down my way .

I gasped realising what it was ..

The stairs to heaven !

It was real !!

This was the afterlife my family prayed for us to have .

My family ,

My mum would be heartbroken..

But there's nothing I can do now . As the stairs stopped expanding I began to climb up the stairs . I heard sweet hymns murmuring as I was getting closer and closer towards the top . The stairs had a warm feeling of hope and excitement with every step I took.

"This was really happening " I said to myself .

Suddenly I was stopped abruptly. I trying going onto the next step but there was a blockage stopping me...someone was blocking me.

I stared up at the stranger and my eyes widen so widen I thought they would fall out . My mouth was open .My knees felt weak and it was like I was going to fall backwards into the dark pit where my dead body laid . All I could do was stare in disbelief .

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