Running On The Line

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kimberly

I was shaking. Literally. My legs were bouncing up and down from stress but also from adrenaline. I was going to cross the line. I was going to... fuck. My mom. She's going to have a heart attack! I'm going to give her a stroke! My dad... oh god he's coming home for the weekend. By then I will have been gone for days. What if there's nothing down there?! What if I'm being an idiot?! What if I'm not? What if there's something important down there? Jemma kept glancing at me with that such-an-idiot look. I turned to her. "Jemma-" She cut me off. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? I hate you! You're going to get me killed!" I gaped at her. Where did that even come from? "I'm going! You don't have to!" She stared at me. I stared at her. I felt like she was trying to burn me alive. She shook her head, tears about to spill over. "You're such an idiot. You know I'm coming! You knew I would! Especially after Fitz! Not only are you sinking, you're dragging me down with you!" She bit her cheek to try not to cry and shoved her pencils in her pencil case. Satan had stiffened in his seat. He couldn't risk being ratted out by Jemma. And I couldn't risk not going. It wasn't just my curiosity anymore it was driving me insane. Completely and utterly insane. My heartbeat shouldn't speed up that much whenever I hear about the Line. "Jemma. Do. Not. Come." I told her. I wanted her to come, deep down. But she was right. I would drag her down in my own personal hell. Just like I always did.

"I have to." She whispered, refusing to look at me. I sighed. "Don't come. We don't know what's down there, Jem. And it might be dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt." She clenched her jaw. "Fuck you." I gasped. Satan stiffened some more. "Don't you even realize that if you go down there, you might die? Fitz did and I can't lose you too! And you know that! If you're dying, so am I. I hate you." She whispered the last part and went back to writing the examples on the board. I forced myself not to cry in the middle of class and started writing too. I knew she didn't actually hate me, not in the enemy kind of way. She hated what I kept doing to myself. I could be acing tests with ease instead of failing them because I spent all night trying to hack into the city's systems to find out what was behind the line. I knew how dumb that probably was of me. But come on! Something is behind it! I'm not an idiot because I believe that! And it has to be important if they keep hiding it! I turned towards Jemma. "Don't hate me. Listen to me. I'm going. You don't have to. But remember this: if nothing was behind that line, they wouldn't need to hide it." She shook her head in an exasperated demeanor but I could see she had listened and was pondering it. I felt so guilty about what I was doing to her. But hell I was scared too. I had no clue what was past that line. But just because something is new doesn't mean we should be scared of it. Satan turned to me, his good looks halting me for a second before I snapped out of it.  "The bell is about to ring. Hey, Jem? You listening?" She laughed coldly before turning to us and nodding. She was coming. For real. "Awesome. So it's going to ring. You walk out of the class. Do not run. You're going to walk out of the back door quickly but quietly, take your time, say you're going to the bathroom or whatever. Meet us at the bus stop. The line is a kilometre away and we will run it." The instructions were clear but I felt butterflies in my stomach. I was crossing it! I was actually doing it. Sure, my mom would kill me but hey depending on what was out there I might be already dead haha. Ok no. Bad joke. Why did I just say that. Omg. I really wanted to run out of there. But I had to walk. Slowly. Jenna's hands were gripping the edge of the desk so hard her knuckles were white. She took a deep breath and the bell rang.

Satan got up after five seconds, slowly putting away his books and we followed his lead. Jemma was telling me about Fitz but I was only half listening to what she was saying. I could only hear my heart beat th-th-thumping in my chest. Like a war drum. My teacher was looking at me with pity. Fitz. Fitz is gone. Maybe he never existed. It'd be easier if I told myself he was never even there.  If he never existed, then he never could have died. Simple. And yet so hard to tell myself. Because Fitz was real. All my memories as a child from five years old to now have him in it. Breathe, Kimberly, he's gone I told myself no use grieving over someone who isn't there anymore. Just a pile of ashes. He shouldn't be a pile of ashes. He should be playing basketball and smiling like a fool. He should be beside me telling me not to cross that fucking line. He should be pushing us around the hall with his friends and dancing like a goof. Not ashes. Yet that is what he is now. I walked out of the classroom.
Kids swarmed around us, screaming, pushing, eating and choking me. No air. None. I couldn't breathe. Everyone was circling around me and the full weight of what I was doing hit me hard. Like it was pushing my lungs so hard I couldn't breathe. Like I was a building about to crumble into nothingness. Jemma grabbed my arm and pulled me (gently) towards the door. Sean had already walked out, his bag in hand and a sly grin on his face. "I can't do this." I told her and started turning around. I couldn't even breathe anymore. Jemma grabbed me by the shoulders and shoved me out the door.