The Intruders

Chapter Five

I FEEL CONFLICTED to either run around screaming and shouting that R is alive, or to keep calm and cool as Mikko and I walk back to the Bonnie and Clyde.

I think, come tomorrow, R's room will be filled with him again, no longer empty and collecting dust.

"What are you thinking?" Mikko's voice breaks into the silence.

"Twenty-four hours can't come quick enough." I reply.

"What's the deal?" He asks.

"I'll explain when we get in. Will you come with me tomorrow?" I ask him and he nods, he places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. He's missed R. He's never admitted it, but he has.

This whole city has missed him. The trains run differently, the stars never come out. The music hall seems empty, no echoing of the notes as they swirl around the room. All the Survivors miss him. Considering R never made an effort when he lived here, he doesn't half leave an impact.

It's painful the dent people leave in your lives.

We mourned Elijah with a bonfire; throwing his clothing, his cane, his favourite books into the fire. I didn't go, I couldn't admit that I was the last face he saw, his last words ring in my brain.

I'm trying to rack up the names of those who are now dead because of me, and where they sit on the level of guilt. I think my mother and once R topped the list. I'm happy that I can remove R, not as happy that I can't remove everyone's name.

I shake the thought out of my head. Luka says it's a bad thought. Luka says that I should shake it out, out of my ear. But it climbs back in at night. I try to forget it, but you can't forgot something that tattooed on your back.

People die. It's something you need to accept, and by you I mean me.

We reach the Bonnie and Clyde, and Mikko opens the door; everyone waits in the main room for us; eyes and ears wide open. Awaiting the news.

"So?" Luka asks.

I look round the room, at all the faces, at all the people who may be excited that R is alive.

I grab Mikko by the wrist and drag him through the main room, past the peering eyes and into the dining room.

"Can you make something?" I ask him. "Like cookies or bacon? Things that everyone will like?" I ask him.

"Cookies and bacon are very contradicting things." Mikko laughs. "Why do you need them?"

"It makes it look like a sweeter deal." I tell him. "We can go to the roof, have a bonfire, cookies and bacon, and I can break to news to everyone then?" I suggest.

He chuckles. "Bacon cookies it is I guess."

I pull him in for a small squeeze. He lets the hug happen for a moment, and then I feel him begin to struggle out of the hug. I let him squirm away as he heads to the kitchen.

"Six-o-clock." He gives me a time and I confirm It with a nod. I head back into the main room, all eyes on me.

"Six-o-clock on the roof, I'll inform you all then." I say, I don't give anyone a chance to reply before I dash upstairs.

I stand outside the devil door. I take a deep breath, and I push it open. The room not only smells of R but also dust. I head to his bed, climbing in and surrounding myself with him one last time before I go tomorrow.

I want to wash his sheets, dust his furniture, find the best smelling candles, place all his books neatly on his bedside table and grab a sweater for him to walk home in.