My vision was blurred with the nonstop streaming of tears as I pounded my fist on Fab's door. I ran the sleeve of my sweater under my nose but it was no use, the more I cried, the more snot that came out of my nose. I knocked again.
Finally the door opened. At first, he was beaming with a smile, until he noticed my wet face and red nose. Before he could say anything I embraced him, resting my head on his shoulder and my arms tightly wrapped around his mid-back. He didn't hesitate to hug me back.
I didn't even try to hold back any cries that escaped from my mouth. Fab stroked my hair, trying to calm me down. "What did he do?" He spoke softly. I sniffed, pulling away from him. I tried to dry off some of the tears but new ones came in.
"I-I think he ch-cheated on me", I choked out. I felt even worse saying it. Fab put an arm over my shoulder, leading me to the couch. He sat next to me, holding my small hands in his.
"He wouldn't, he's totally mad for you. You may not know this but when you can't make it to our practices sometimes, he gets in this mood. He's just not as happy. Now when you sit on that dirty ol' couch looking pretty, he sings ten times better to impress you and he's not as much of an ass."
I let out a shaky laugh. "Thanks Fab", I smiled.
"See, you look so much better with that smile. I'll make hot chocolate, go make your face look like you didn't cry." I wiped my cheek, getting up while Fab went into the kitchen.I looked beyond horrible. I looked like I hadn't slept in days. With a face like that, of course he'd cheat on you.
No no no...
I put my hands over my ears, maybe that will block out the voice. I bet he's showing her the love and affection he did with you at some point. Maybe you were just an object in his life and the reason he walked out on you was because he didn't want to deal with a broken girl.
I splashed my face with ice cold water. I looked back up at my reflection. I wanted to punch it, break it into a million little pieces. He made you believe he loved you, just to break you down.
I hit the door instead of the mirror, this wasn't my house and I wasn't going to destroy anything.
"Maya", Fab ran to the bathroom door, twisting the knob. It was locked. "Maya please open up." He sounded scared.
"Why should I", my voice shaked.
"Because...I'm worried about you."
"I'm fine, I'm just hung over a stupid guy."
"No, Maya, he makes you extremely happy and you don't need a pill to make you feel better when you're with him."How did he know about my medication? I unlocked the door. He quickly opened it and sat down next to me on the floor. "How do you know about that?"
He stayed quiet for a little. "When Nick found out, he told me. But only me. You and Jules seem really into each other so I figured you stopped take them."
"Well guess what? The reason why Jules and I aren't talking is because of those fucking pills. I waited to long to tell him about it and he found them...", my eyes watered. "He thinks I don't trust him enough to tell him my problems."
I don't even like the pills, I hate taking them. I want to believe they make me feel happier but I just feel numb. The only time I ever felt anything was with Julian.
Fab looked at me sympathetically. "Come on", he said, lifting me up on to his back. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he took my to the living room. He lied me down on the couch and got me a blanket, bringing over a mug of hot chocolate, even of we were in the middle of the New York heat. He sat next to me with his own cup.
We watched Seinfeld for an hour and would occasionally talk to each other, but for the most part we were silent. I was finally able to sleep with the help of Fab's cuddles and comforting vibe.
・・・
"Can I come in?"
"Um...I'm kinda busy right now."
"Fabrizio, please. Is she in there?"
"No, I don't know where she is. She isn't at her apartment?"
"No...I checked. "I could hear talking in my half asleep state. I yawned loudly, stretching my arms. Fab looks back at me with wide eyes.
"Who's at your place man?" Whoever he was talking to asked in a low whisper. He sounded familiar.
"Erm...no one", Fab said nervously. I rubbed my eyes, looking at Fab curiously, but he couldn't see me due to him facing who ever was at the door. Until I caught a glimpse of who it was. Him.
They had a stare down for a few seconds. I took this as a chance to quietly get up and hide somewhere.
"Fab, she's here isn't she?" He said quietly.
"Julian, for the millionth ti-"
"Please let me talk to her...please!"
"She's not here!"I stood against the wall next to the other side of the tv, the one furthest from the door. Fab noticed I shifted there, but tried to seem like I wasn't.
"If she wasn't here then you would have no problem letting me in", Julian said.
"Totally, come in", Fab said a little loudly as a signal for me to get the fuck out and hide. I ran as quietly as I could to Fab's room."See, no one in here", Fab said. I put my ear against his slightly open door, I didn't want to make it look suspicious.
Julian sighed. "Man, I'm worried about her. I acted like such a dick and flipped out. I made it more than it was. Fab...I cheated on her", his voice cracked.
My eyes instantly started to water. I put my hand to my mouth to silence the cries. I was beyond pissed and in the moment I felt like confronting him. I felt like popping out of no where and saying that I got him right where I wanted. I reached for the handle. Everything felt like slow motion.
Then I realised I was there standing next to Fab, facing Julian. Julian stood up, walking over to me. I pushed him back.
He opened his mouth to speak, but I slapped him across his face. Never in a million years did I think I would be so mad at Julian enough to hit him. His head was turned to the left from smaking him.
"I deserve 10 of those", he said to the ground. He looked up at me regretfully. He looked like a lost puppy.
It felt like Fab wasn't standing there, looking at us with a shocked expression. It felt like Julian and I were in a force field.
Tears ran down my cheeks but my face showed no emotions. "Fuck you." I gritted my teath. He swallowed, looked back at the ground.
"Can I please-"
"Can you what, Julian? Try to erase the fact that you cheated on me!? I went to look for you this morning, thinking you would be outside of some bar passed out. I tried, I really tried to kick the thought of you with another woman out of my mind because I finally felt like you were committed to me, to us."One little tear escaped his eye and streamed down his cheek, on to the floor. I felt bad but I couldn't show mercy right now, he would think he won this.
"I'm sorry..."
"Sometimes sorry doesn't cut it. I think...I think we should take a break." I looked at something next to him, anything but him. When I took a small glance at him, he didn't bother to wipe those tears away. Julian would never cry in front of a friend, but now he was."I love you Maya", he mumbled.
"...okay." Saying that even hurt me, and I knew it tore Julian apart. Julian glanced at Fab, who had inched further from us. He gave him a small wave."See you at practice?" Julian asked, trying to make it seem like nothing happend. Fab nodded his head.
"Sure thing."Then he was gone. And here I was again, crying on Fab's shoulder. I just broke up with Julian, I just broke up with Julian, I just broke up with Juian. Holy shit...I broke up with Julian.
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Wish I wasn't so shy
FanfictionTwenty-something-year old Maya runs into her ex one night at a bar. A series of events lead to Maya meeting Julian, a young man trying to make it through in the big city. Both of them a little lost in adolescence, find that it's easier when they hav...