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Pen Your Pride

I didn't sleep again, the images still going through my head. I held in the urge to throw up again, swallowing slowly. Looking in the mirror, I looked paler than usual and the bags under my eyes were darker and more defined than they had been for a while. I groaned quietly, knowing that Alex would notice immediately. He always picked up on the tiniest little things about me. If I was a bit down, if something was scaring me or hurting me he knew immediately. A smile unconsciously made its way onto my face, and I sighed knowing that I was already too attached to him. I wouldn't just be able to go 'cold turkey', so to speak.

I made my way to the bathroom and stepped into the massaging spray of the shower. It relaxed my tired muscles after the long night, but I still felt nauseous so didn't plan on eating anything. When I stepped out, I still felt as tired as before. Somehow, I managed to get dressed without falling asleep. I snuck out of the house early, leaving a note so my parents wouldn't worry, and walked to school. I had hoped to slip into the library and be able to read for a while. I was the only one in there apart from the librarian, and I curled up in a corner and read until the bell.

As I walked into English, Alex was already sat there staring at the wall beside me. He was frowning, but at nothing in particular- something was bothering him. When I sat down next to him, he didn't respond so I laid my head down on the desk. I was already exhausted and it was only just first period, but whenever I closed my eyes the images returned to my mind. I shuddered and sat up again, wishing I could just get some sleep.

"What's up?" Alex's voice made me start and I turned to him.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" I answered back and he frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"You were frowning at the wall when I came in. Either something's on your mind, or you've gone mad." He laughed, but it seemed forced. "What's up?"

"Just thinking." Alex answered shortly and I rolled my eyes.


"Honestly? You." He looked straight into my eyes, and I saw nothing but honesty in his chocolate brown eyes.

"Me?" I whispered. He nodded, blushing slightly and then turned back to the front as the teacher walked in. I was frozen in place. Did that mean he liked me? He did try to kiss me the other day... I slapped a hand to my forehead, earning odd looks from everyone around me. I blushed and looked down, sighing internally. Why couldn't life be simple? I suppose my life was more complicated than most others, I thought wryly. I don't know many other people who could say they were kidnapped. Most don't get out alive.

I sighed, out loud this time, and tried to focus on what the teacher was saying. I ended up, not concentrating for the entire lesson. I knew I would pay for that later, especially since we had homework on it but I couldn't concentrate. I was already tired and Alex's words were all my brain could cope with. It was P.E. now, so I headed into the library where I always went for these lessons. I couldn't do the lessons for another year, and I knew people had noticed by now. It was just a case of when the questions would begin and how I would answer them.

When I entered the library, my heart sank. Becca was already sat in there examining her nails with distaste. I rolled my eyes. She was the reason for girly clichés. The girl in question looked up and smirked.

"Well look at that, Little Miss Slut skipping P.E.?" she taunted. I frowned. Little Miss Slut? Surely that was an insult to herself... I ignored her and went to my usual corner with a new book. "I'm talking to you." She slammed my book down and flung it across the library. I glanced around her nervously. Where was the librarian when I needed her?

"Please leave me alone." I muttered. This was not my day.

"Aww. Are you scared? Do you want to go home to mummy? Will that make you better? Well mummy's not here. You still owe me from last time you publicly embarrassed me. You won't even be able to show your face when I'm done with you." she spat, venom clear I her voice. She clamped a hand down on my shoulder and I froze, memories returning to me. I pulled out of her grip and ran from the library, my legs aching from the tiny bit of running. Turning into the toilets, I collapsed in one of the stalls sobbing quietly. Why couldn't life be simple?

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