crack

ix.

arabella

After six hours full of dancing and pains and annoyance, we were finally done. Jonathan didn't seem as pissed as he was in the middle of the class, and that was a good sign I guess. He made us choose couples again and of course, I chose Miles. I knew no one else; it was the only safe option.

"You did horrible today" he called out shortly after turning the speakers off. "I expect more effort and work tomorrow, unless you want to be kicked out before the scheduled date. Especially you two" he pointed at a couple on the side, and the girl immediately looked down at her shoes. I felt bad for her; she honestly wasn't that bad. "You may go."

The girl was the first to run away, and her pair didn't even make an effort to chase after her or check to see if she's okay. Without saying goodbye to Miles, I grabbed my things and exited the room, heading to the lockers in search of her.

I found her curled up in front of a set of lockers, holding a blue towel in front of her face. Lacing my fingers together, I approached her carefully. "Hello?"

She looked up, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "Hi."

"We're in the same group" I awkwardly spoke, sitting on a bench across of her. "With Jonathan?" She nodded at that. "I just wanted to check up on you, make sure you're okay."

"You don't even know me" she fought back.

She had a point. "You're right, but that doesn't mean I'll let you cry in here and not do anything about it, you know? It's a nasty place to cry, if you want my opinion."

This made her laugh a little. "I don't have many choices here, it's not my fault."

"You're right, this whole building is just aesthetically wrong, you know? I mean who even came up with the pink lockers?" I pointed at the set of iron lockers across from me, then tapped the bench on which I was seated. "Or the green bench? Green and pink don't even match. Whoever thought of these needs a freaking lesson on the basics."

She was laughing a lot by the time I finished, and it made me smile just a little. It felt nice making somebody smile. I wasn't sure where this came from, but I knew something in me was changing, and I didn't know how to feel about it honestly.

Her laughter died out eventually and my own smile shrank. Wiping the tears from her cheeks and her nose one more time, she sighed heavily. "This is my only chance, ...?"

"Arabella" I rushed to tell her.

"Arabella" she repeated slowly. "This is my only chance, Arabella. If I mess it up, I'm totally screwed up."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"My mum used to be a ballet dancer, a really good one. As soon as I made my first steps, I followed her on ballet lessons, performances, everything" she explained, poking her knees that were brought up to her chest. "She taught me the basics of ballet and encouraged me to dance myself, and I actually did it. For a while."

Fiddling with my fingers, I looked at her. She had her eyes on her arm that was rested on her side, immobile while soft sighs escaped from her lips. "When I was little, she–"

"You don't have to tell me" I stopped her, resting my hand gently on her shoulder. The look of relief and gratefulness she gave me was priceless, and she nodded her head slowly.

We stayed in silence, until she removed the palm of my hand from her shoulder and cleared her throat. "Anyway, after a couple years it wasn't affordable for me to pay for ballet classes and my dad was struggling, and now all I'm fighting for is a scholarship, or some way to stay, and if you didn't know, being on the professional group is equal to a job, so you get paid."

"I am aware."

"I really want to be here" she explained, sucking in some tears, "I don't think that's going to happen though, considering Jonathan isn't exactly fond of me."

Getting down on my knees, I awkwardly wrapped my arms around her shoulders, embracing her in a friendly hug. "Everything is going to be okay" I reassured her, and let go as fast as I needed to prevent things from being even more uncomfortable. "Just don't stress over it, he's nervous just like the rest of us."

"Okay."

We looked at each other one more time and I backed up, swiftly picking my bag and clothes from my locker and changing before I walked out. Louise was already outside the door, having small talk with Miles and one more girl from her team. They were both ditched though when she saw me, which caught me off guard. I thought she had a thing for Miles, but I guess not.

"I fucking hate both of them for splitting us" Louise gritted through her clenched teeth, tugging on the sleeve of my jacket. "We're dynamic duo, separating us should be illegal."

With a sigh, I pushed my hair off my forehead. "It's not about separating us; it's about forcing us to be opponents. That's not right."

"All of us are going to be competing against each other one day, so you better get used to it" Miles butted in with his hand lurking around my shoulder. He firstly looked down at me, then Louise.

I scoffed and slapped his hand off of my body. "Whose side are you, exactly?"

"Nobody's" he shrugged, "just reminding you how things are." And with that, he walked off.

"I actually have to go" I told Louise just before she was ready to tell me something, "I need to wake up early tomorrow because Jonathan wants us for early practice, I think. He said he'd text us the details sometime today."

She patted my back. "Alright, I will see you tomorrow."

"Yup, see ya" I waved at her as I was running towards the elevator, tossing my bag over my shoulder. I missed her reaction since I dashed inside the machine and pressed the ground floor button multiple times.

No matter how much I tried to hurry, I was home when the sky was dark and all street lights were turned on. My feet were killing me and all I wanted was to dip into my bathtub with hot water, relaxing music and candles, and just forget about everything for a while. When I spotted a slim figure sitting on the front stairs of my building, I knew that wasn't a possibility anymore.

As I got closer, my speculations of who this might be were confirmed. I expected Tyler, and that's who I got. He was seated on the bottom step of the stairs, his elbows pressed against his knees as he held on a cigarette. I stood there watching him blow out the smoke, before realising it was a joint.

"Tyler?" I mumbled quietly, taking a few steps closer to him, "are you alright?"

A low laugh escaped from the back of his throat and he turned his face to me, tossing his free hand towards me. "Come here."

I half-heartedly took his hand and he heaved me to his direction, making me stumble on him, but wrapped his arms tightly around me, stabilizing me on his lap. The way the light of a street lamp besides us fell on his face, toning his cheekbones, his blue eyes, his lips, his black hair, had me staring in awe. As I looked closer, it hit me that his eyes were bloodshot from the drug he was inhaling; for some off reason, though, I didn't mind.

His lips suddenly grazed on mine in a slow kiss, my arms subconsciously lacing around his neck. The hand of his that was holding on the cigarette was in my hair, gripping tightly a handful while his other was pressed on the small of my back, bringing my body nearer to his own. He yanked my head back by my hair and his lips attacked my neck, nipping and sucking on the skin repeatedly, aggressively, causing soft whimpers to leave my mouth. "Go upstairs and get dressed, we're going out" he whispered softly in my ear. With a slap on my bum, Tyler helped me stand up and I ran up the stairs, quickly unlocking the door.

What should I expect?

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i'm still trying