"My head says go to the gym, my heart says eat more ice cream." – iliketoquote.com
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"Oh, I think that I've found myself a cheer–"
"No. God. Please. No."
"–leader!"
"Ugh, so you actually have the nerve to finish that lyric. I should've known."
"Yep, and I don't regret it."
"I'm in the mood for ice cream. Fletcher, can you buy me some? Pretty please with an artificial cherry on top?"
"Fine, since I'm such a nice person. What's your address, m'lady?"
"It's on Mildew Avenue. The house that looks boring as hell at first glance and then boom-shaka-laka! You catch sight of the humongous rainbow satellite on the roof."
"Did we just swap personalities?"
"Nah, I'm just high on cocaine."
"You're what now?!"
"I'm kidding! I had three cups of coffee this morning when I was out of town."
"Out of town, I see. What a wondrously specific place that seems to be."
"You want me to be specific? Well, why don't I be specific about kicking you in the nuts?"
"Coffee, back to coffee! Oh, and muffins, muffins are delicious. No nuts, please."
"As I was saying, the coffee out of town is way better than our Westerden coffee."
"Starbucks, I presume?"
"Nah, it's actually a café called Coffee Scents. Opened up a few weeks ago."
"Nope, doesn't ring a bell."
"Well, their coffee is wonderful, but the mushy couples totally put me off my food."
"Hey, slow your roll. I actually happen to enjoy mushy stuff."
"Woah there, I never took you for a romantic. You sat down with your buddies and watched The Notebook while eating ice cream sundaes on a forever-alone Friday night?"
"..."
"You have got to be joking."
"Well, I'm sorry that Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling being in the same movie brings out my girly side!"
"Oh god, don't tell me you've watched–"
"Whatever cheesy movie it is, you already know the answer is yes."
"Ugh, why do I even like–? Oh, never mind."
"Who do you like? Stop mumbling, Sushi! My poor ears are straining."
"It's nothing."
"It's hashtag totes something."
"The fact that you just spoke those words out loud and used them in a verbal conversation, hashtag totes put me off the ice cream I haven't received yet. You asshole."
"Alex is already at your house with your ice cream."
"Oh, I'll get the door."
"..."
"Gosh, Alex is so sweet!"
"I guess so."
"Awe, he just left, but what a cutie patootie he is! I see why he's the pure angel in comparison to your devilish demeanor."
"Oh, hurl. No matter how many romantic movies I watch, none of them can prepare me for the retching that ensues after hearing those sappy words come out of your sushi mouth."
"What are you on about?"
"I– I– never mind."
YOU ARE READING
Waffle Cones (#1)
Short Story"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." ...
