Chapter 18

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Man, I am SO SORRY that it’s been like a week.  Really, I am. I have had the worst writers block, and Tumblr hasn’t really helped much either.

But, anyway, I’m back on track now, but still won’t be updating regularly for a few days because I now have three more exams on Tuesday, consecutively. *Sigh*

Vicki, I updated this for you >.<

Anyway, enjoy :)

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Joshua and I hurried down the stairs as my mother went to the door, intent on answering it. We paused at the bottom of the stairs, opening the door ever so slightly so that we would be able to see and hear more easily.

“Can I help you?” my mother asked, defensively. She and my aunt hadn’t spoken since my announcement at the party.

She had always stood up for my dad.

“I wanted to know why you’ve been incessantly calling my brother. Why can’t you just accept the fact that he’s moved on? Why won’t you just grow up and move on. He doesn’t love you anymore. Deal with it” she snapped.

At first, I stood in disbelief. My mom had not been calling my dad. She wanted nothing more to do with him – she’d told us that herself.

She had moved on, and although she was pretty depressed about it, she had accepted the matter at hand.

“Look, I can’t help it if I still feel this way,” my mother began, evoking shock in my brother and I. “He’s still my husband, and I can’t get over him like that. We haven’t been apart in almost twenty years. I can’t just drop it.”

I sat down on the bottom step - struggling to accept that my mom had been doing all of this.

While it was understandable, she had been partly the reason they broke up. But now she wanted him back. Was she insane?

I knew that she wouldn’t necessarily admit this to my brother or I, but still, she needed to set her priorities right.

“Well, he has a new partner and a new baby on the way, so just stop harassing him!” My dad’s younger sister argued. “You’re making life hell for that poor girl. No one in her family is talking to her – even her own twin is ignoring her!”

“Well, good, she deserves it! She shouldn’t have had an affair with a married man” my mom shouted, before breaking down in tears.

After that, I couldn’t stand it and ran upstairs. Joshua remained at the bottom.

Once more, that feeling of worthlessness washed over me and I began to feel deeply sick. Everything that was going had begun to feel too much to handle.

 I knew I should talk to my mother, but she was preoccupied. It was my fault anyway.

I abruptly left my room, and ran across the hall and into the bathroom. Before I ran, I listened slightly and could still hear my mom arguing with my aunt.

I wondered if Joshua was still somewhere down at the bottom.

I stealthily locked the door and walked over to the cabinet where I knew the razors were kept. I began to sweat, and my breath became shallow.

I felt more than compelled to do it. And I knew I shouldn’t.

My hands shook as I reached for the razor and took the small plastic cap off. Throwing it on the floor, not caring where it went, I closed the cabinet quietly and backed away from the sink.

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