Meeting anyone my mother picked out for me was my biggest nightmare, but if I refused I wouldn't hear the end of it. I had to meet her in the middle somehow to get her off my back...
"What I mean is," I started, my voice shaking unsurely, "Oliver isn't exactly my boyfriend, we're kind of seeing how it plays out before we become official."
I was a bad person. A terrible person. But there's only so much interference from your mother a person can take, especially in the love department.
My mom practically squealed with happiness as she jumped up and down, in heels no less. I rolled my eyes and headed into the kitchen and started making coffee, I had a feeling we were all going to need it.
Oliver came out of my room then, still sporting the hot stuff sweatpants but the huge blue T-shirt he had slipped on was long enough to cover his backside.
I poured four mugs of coffee and helped my mom carry them in to the living room where my dad was waiting.
I slowed down and fell into step next to Oliver as I whispered frantically to him, "If you don't want to end up naked in the hall again then follow my lead."
Oliver looked at me with confusion but didn't say a word as we sat down besides each other on my sofa, my mom and dad were both sitting on the arm chair, legs tangled and bodies twisted so they fit.
"So Oliver, tell us a little bit about yourself." My mom said, sipping her drink as she looked over the brim at us.
Oliver held his own cup in both hands, blowing on it softly to cool it down, "Well there's not much to say about me, I work at my dad's business firm, he's training me to be CEO one day, but at the moment I just kind of sit at a desk and play angry birds on my phone for hours." He admitted, and for some reason I found that hilarious and had to hold back a snort of laughter.
Mom, who was a pro at keeping a conversation going, cocked her head to the side and smiled sweetly at him, "That sounds like quite the career ahead of you," she complimented. Oliver smiled sheepishly as he brought his cup up to his lips, "So how long have you and Juliet been seeing each other?" She asked bluntly, causing Oliver to choke on his drink and spray it all over the side of my face.
I was too shocked to scream as the Luke warm coffee/spit dripped down my cheek, instead I stood calmly to my feet, "Oliver, may I speak to you in the bedroom?"
He followed me silently until we had both crossed the threshold of my room and the door was shut behind us, "What the hell was that?" I hissed, wiping furiously at my face.
"Your mum thinks we're seeing each other?" He countered, glaring at me.
I shrank away from him, "Okay yeah, that might have been my fault." I admitted. Oliver continued to burn holes into my head with his eyes, "look she is relentless okay, she keeps setting me up with guys that I have no interest in meeting and she said she had another man lined up for me and I may have accidentally told her you and I were, you know, doing that dating thing." I felt bad for dragging him down with me like that but in the moment it seemed like the best choice.
"You have to tell her the truth, you and I aren't dating, we don't even know each other." Oliver said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I've seen you in your underwear and you're wearing my clothes, I'd say we know each other pretty well." I replied sarcastically.
If it wasn't so dark in my room I could have sworn I saw his cheeks redden ever so slightly.
"My point is," he said through tight lips, "is that you need to set your mother straight; we are not dating."
"But if I do that she'll make me meet the bar man!" I cried, throwing my hands up.
"I don't care." Oliver shrugged his shoulders.
If I was going to get oliver to go along with my lie, I was going to have to do something unthinkable.
I dropped down to my knees and clasped my hands in front of me, "Please Oliver, just a few weeks, you don't have to do anything just let her believe I have some form of a love life so she'll get off my back and let me choose my own boyfriends."
I pulled out my secret weapon to top it off; the Bambi eyes.
Oliver groaned, "Fine, just a few weeks, but you are not getting off lightly with this." He relented.
I jumped to my feet and threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and lifting my feet off the floor as he wrapped one arm around my waist to steady us so we didn't go toppling over, "Thank you, thank you thank you!" I squealed.
"Oh my god why are you so heavy!" Oliver grunted, obviously struggling to hold me up. I let out a laugh but didn't bother putting my feet on the floor just yet, "Shut up."
My mom, of course, decided then was a good time to walk into my room without knocking. Oliver and I both snapped our attention towards her, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you two... Again."
I dropped down then, but instead of pushing me away, Oliver kept his arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me up against his side as he smiled at my mom, "Sorry to take so long, we get carried away some times."
I gaped up at him but quickly calmed my expression as I looked at my mom, who seemed to be beaming. "We'll be right out mom." I assured her.
She nodded her head knowingly and shut the door behind her as she headed back out to the living room, leaving Oliver and I still wrapped up like two happy lovers.
Oliver pushed me away then, "Alright if we're going to do this then we need some ground rules."
I nodded my head in agreement.
"Rule number one: No embarrassing story of how we 'first met'." He said.
I scoffed a laugh, there was no way I was keeping the fact he got locked out of his apartment in his underwear a secret, but he didn't need to know that just yet, "Deal."
"Rule number two: if for any reason you have to refer to me as your boyfriend, you do it swiftly that doesn't cause anyone to ask questions about our fake relationship."
I nodded my head as he reeled off a bunch of rules that I wasn't really interested in.
"And finally, once this is over I want it to go back to how it was before; just neighbors, we don't need to meet up for coffees to laugh about all the fun times we had in our relationship, okay, it was just be a clean cut and we'll both go on with our lives."
"Alright, agreed, but I have my own rule: you have to be respectful and treat me nicely in front of my family."
Oliver smirked at me, "Trust me, I know how to woo a girls parents."