Use And Abuse

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I told Ryan what had happened with Spencer and Jon. I then drove him home. I pulled up to his house. He looked at me. He seemed scared to leave me. "Umm...can I stay at your place tonight?" He asked. "Sure! I'll help you pack your--" "No! Wait here. I'll be right back" I did as he said. I waited patiently. I tried to think if my room was decent. I wasn't sure if I made my bed. Bed. Ryan. Ryan. Bed. Ryan would be sleeping in my room in my bed. With ME! Under the the sheets. Who knows what could happen. Anything could happen I was so ecstatic. My head felt like there were millions of unicorns stampeding about in my head, fucking farting rainbows! 

I was so lost in thought, I didn't notice Ryan was back until he slipped in and shut the door. He threw three different bags in the back seat. "Lets go" He said. "What's with all the stuff?" I asked. "Running away from home?" I joked. He nodded, buckling the seat belt as I set the car in drive. I laughed, keeping my eyes o the road. "You're fucking with me, right?" I looked at him and waited for a reply. He looked into my eyes. I could tell he was dead serious. 



"You can't run away from home!"

"I just did"

"But why? Are things really that bad?"

He paused for just a moment or two. He rolled up his sleeve delicately, showing the cuts and dark bruises that covered his skin. It didn't even look like skin. He was so tattered. It made me sick. He saw the look on my face and quickly covered up. I took his hand in mine. He was so cold. So frail. I didn't have to ask who or why. I already knew. His dad and alcohol were the answers. He must have been terrified out of his mind. I didn't want to say I felt sorry for him, but I did. I felt so bad. No one should have to go through what Ryan went through. No one deserved that.  

When we got to my house it was empty. Everyone was out, doing whatever it was that they did. We all sort of minded our own business around here. I could tell my mom had cleaned the house. The kitchen floor was swept, carpet vacumed. Even my room was cleaned. The whole place smelled of febreeze. I set Ryan's bags on the floor in my room. Ryan laid on my bed. He reminded me of a cat. Ryan in my bed. It fit so perfectly. He was always meant to be mine. I knew that now. If you could've seen what I saw, you would have thought you had died and been reborn into a blissfully enchanting new world. I couldn't just look at him or merely gaze. I had to force myself to look away.

I stepped into my bathroom and drew the bath. I realeased the hot water from its metallic prison. I sat at the edge of the tub. I kicked of my shoes and dipped my toe in, testing the temperature. It was so comfortably warm. I wanted to fall right in.

"What are you doing?" Ryan asked. He leaned against the door frame. 

"Taking a bath" I replied. I peeled off my shirt. The way he looked at me made me want to cry. Not because he had sad eyes. The way he looked at me, I could tell he really loved me. I wasn't just some piece of ass to him. I was much more. Much much more. "Come here sweetie" I purred, patting my thigh. He sat in my lap. I cradled him in my arms. His hands rubbed along my sides. I felt his hot breath massage my bare chest. I bit my lip tentatively. He began kissing along y collar bone.


"Hm?" He remained focused on marking me with his kisses.

"The water's getting cold"


His eyes met with mine. His eyes were so beautiful. They were the first thing I noticed about Ry. Second was his smile, then his voice. I unbuttoned his shirt, exposing his skin to my eyes. I admit, before Ryan and I were together, I'd mentally undress him. It didn't compare to actually being able to. I kissed him slowly. I savored every second of it. Our clothes were of in no time. And we never broke the kiss. Ryan tipped me into the tub. The water splashed all around. It was like magic. He slicked my wet hair out of my face and smiled at me. He had so much love in his eyes. This is what I had always wanted. Ryan was mine! I'm pretty sure we were in fact in love. I absolutely adored him. God forbid what would happen if Ryan were ever taken away from me.

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