Our Space

Chapter 6

"I'd try to deny it but I can't lie. She's waiting for me so we can eat dinner together," Muhammad said.

"Oh you lot are that kind of couple. Can't have dinner without each other!" Sami said with a chuckle.

"I'll see what it's like when you marry, Samuel. Anyways, talk to you later, bro."

"Okay, Asalamu'alaykum."

"Wa'alaykumusalaam." Sami hung up and then sighed. All he could do was pray for a way out, like he always did.

Sami thought about the amount he prayed to Allah to help him get through situations he found difficult. He found that he almost always felt as if he was in a difficult situation. It was as if he was praying to just get through life. Sometimes, Sami felt so detached from the world that he only saw it as a journey to get home, to Jannah.(1) But he didn't want to worship his Lord for a reward. He wanted to worship Allah because of his love for Allah. Though he made that his reason for trying his best to practice Islam, he couldn't help but desire Jannah, and eternal peace, as a reward.

Sometimes, Sami felt grateful that he was finding life tough. He reminded himself that Allah gives the toughest battles to His strongest soldiers. Perhaps if it wasn't for his difficulties, Sami wouldn't have the opportunity or desire to turn to Allah as often. Perhaps on the day of judgement, he'd be grateful for all these things he had to face now. Besides, he was quite sure that after death, all his frustration and anxiety would seem microscopic and all that will be left is their consequences, good or bad. He had to remind himself that he was in control of the consequences of his pain. It could help him hold onto his faith and strengthen it, or let it go and weaken it.

It was only a matter of days when Muhammad gave Sami the address of the place, telling him they would be expecting him to come to see the room. That made Sami feel nervous but he concluded that he didn't have a better option. For this reason, Sami didn't waste time before he contacted the owner of the house, setting a convenient time to visit.

Sami prepared for the outcome of his visit, uncertain whether they'd want to give a space in their home to him. He didn't see why they wouldn't. He planned to keep himself to himself and only to communicate for necessity. He didn't plan on mixing with the family and disturbing their peace. But Sami didn't want to have any expectations. Nonetheless, he couldn't shrug off the hope. He needed this.

The owners of the house were a middle aged couple and they had a few teenage kids. The house was quite clean and the room they showed Sami also appeared clean and unused. It looked promising to Sami.

Next, Sami was taken into the living room for questioning. He sat on one sofa with the couple sitting opposite him, asking about his life, why he wanted to stay there, what sort of life did he lead, what time he left for work and came home, what sort of social life did Sami have? So far, Sami was doing well.

"We have quite a systematic way of living and for you, the most important thing would be to try and stay in your room. We have a young daughter in the house, you see. We also expect you to stay out of family affairs and we'll stay out of your way too. We'll provide you with dinner and you may make your own breakfast and lunch since most of the house is empty during those times. You must inform us of the foods you buy for yourself so nothing gets mixed up and we advise you to keep anything that doesn't require a fridge or a freezer in your room," The woman said. Sami hadn't paid attention when they were introducing themselves and he couldn't remember what their names were. He decided he'd just call them aunt and uncle for now.

"Any questions?" The uncle asked and Sami shook his head. He was feeling nervous now. Though he had already planned on living by those rules, having had them spoken aloud made them seem quite difficult to live by. But Sami knew he could do it. He wasn't comfortable around families anyway.