Between Two Skies

chapter twenty-eight

Song suggestions:

• All I Need — Radiohead
• desire machine — spirit blue
• welcome and goodbye — Dream, Ivory
____________________________

Neteyam — POV

At first, there was only light.

Not the kind that had edges or shape, but something fractured and flickering, breaking apart as if the sun itself had been shattered and scattered in front of me. Gold bled into brown, warm tones folding into one another in slow, endless motion, bright enough to sting, soft enough to draw me closer despite the warning buried somewhere in my mind that looking too long was dangerous, that this was not something meant to be stared at or reached for. And yet I couldn't stop. The longer I stayed with it, the deeper it pulled me in, until the world beyond it felt distant and unreal, until I forgot what it meant to look away.

I wondered, distantly, if this was what dying felt like.

The thought circled lazily in my mind, never landing, never fully forming, because the light kept drawing me back, kept demanding my attention. It was dangerous, I knew that much, in the same instinctive way you know not to stare at the sun for too long, not to reach out and touch something that burns simply because it's beautiful. But the longer I looked, the more it consumed me, the ache behind my eyes sharpening as the colors shifted from bright gold to darker browns, layered and complex, endless in their depth. I was drowning in it. But I let myself stay there, suspended in that depth.

I could look into her golden-brown eyes forever.

My fingertips brushed against her skin, light and tentative, finding the back of her neck beneath my hand. I didn't question it. My fingers moved on instinct alone, sliding slowly downward, following a path I didn't remember learning yet somehow knew by heart, tracing the quiet line of her spine with deliberate care, memorizing each subtle curve as if touch itself were the only language I had left. My hand continued its slow descent until it reached the small of her back, where it finally came to rest, warm and steady, while her golden-brown eyes remained locked onto mine, unblinking, unbroken, holding me there just as firmly as my touch held her.

"Sa'eyra."

The name slipped out of me before I realized I'd spoken, soft and hoarse at the same time, like it had been pulled straight from my chest instead of my mouth. The sound of my own voice startled me enough that my eyes snapped open.

I turned my head slowly, scanning the space around me. She wasn't there. No warmth at my side. No presence in front of me. Just the rough ground beneath my palm and the familiar pull of pain in my shoulder reminding me exactly where I was. The bandages were tight, stiff with dried blood, and when I shifted even slightly, the ache flared sharp enough to make my jaw clench. I swallowed, my throat dry.

Her name still lingered in my mind as I forced myself upright, teeth clenched against the pain. My shoulder protested immediately, fire shooting down my arm, but I ignored it, tightening my jaw and shifting carefully until the world stopped tilting. I glanced down at myself, at the rough bandages wrapped tight around my shoulder, darkened in places, undeniable evidence that what I'd felt hadn't been imagined.

The bandages pulled as I stood, the pain sharp enough to blur my vision for a second, but I welcomed it, because it kept me present. I rolled my shoulder carefully, testing my limits, measuring how much it would tolerate before giving out.

There was one more name that lingered in my mind.

Varang.

I no longer knew what had been a fever dream and what I had actually heard while half-conscious, but Sarah was gone. That, I knew for sure.