My Rockstar Solider Family (Avenged Sevenfold)

Chapter Sixteen

Brian was finally coming home.

Val had already left to the airport to go and get him.

I wasnt ready to tell him, but I had to.

It couldnt wait.

I was sitting in the living room watching Sons of Anarcy when I heard the front door open. I closed my eyes and turned the tv off as I heard Brian set his bags down.

"Hey, how are my two girls?" Brian said iffy as he walked in the living room.

I stood up and faced him, tears streaming down my face.

He looked at me dumb founded and started to shuddered, "Sh-shouldent you be bigger?"

I nodded my head.

"Wh-whats wrong? Is something wrong with the baby?" He asked he walked up to me and reach for my belly.

I quickly grabbed his hand before he could touch it, "Theres no baby."

"Whatt?" He said heart broken as he took his hand back, "Was it false? But how? You said we were having a girl?"

I shook my head, "There was a baby."

"Did you have her already?" He asked with a better tone in his voice, "Was she premature? But why arent you in the hospital?"

"Brian!" I yelled at him for getting his hopes up, "There is no baby what so ever! I lost it! I lost our baby!"

He looked at me shocked, his jaw dropped open, "How? How?!"

"I miscarried. I stressed to much. I freaked out when you went MIA! I failed you, I failed her, I failed myself." I cried.

He dropped to his knees and buried his face in his hands, crying historically. "Its all my fault." He cried out repeatedly, "That stupid mistake I made when Jimmy died, caused me my child."

I knelt down in front of him and made him look at me, "Its not your fault baby, its mine for getting so worried."

He looked at me angry, "I told you I would be fine."

My heart jumped by the look on his face. He was pissed off, at me.

"Brian." I mumbled as he stood up.

He didnt say nothing, just took his bags and went to our room.

I followed him and leaned in the door way, "Brian talk to me."

"No! Why didnt you tell me this when I called you?" He yelled at me, "I could have gotten them to let me stay over there!"

"You really wanted to stay over there!" I yelled back.

He shook his head, "Beats being here, torn up over loosing my daughter."

"You wanted to stay over there, to get yourself killed." I spat at him.

He looked at me and charged at me. He shoved me out of the room and pinned me against the wall in the hallway, "You're damn right thats why. You lost our daughter! I made you loose our daughter! All because I wanted to get myself killed when I was in my twentys! So why not of stayed and finish the job."

"Because." I mumbled out threw tears, "Because you love me. And because I love you."

He shook his head and let me go, "Right now, I hate you. And I hate myself."

My heart literately broke when he said that.

He didnt say anything else, just walked into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of Jack and sat on the couch.

I shook my head and went into the bedroom. I just laid there, staring at the wall. I didnt know what to do. I was scared of what was going to happen to mine and Brian's relationship now.

It felt like I laid there for days, but only a few hours till it was sunset, almost dark. I wanted to get up and see if Brian was okay, or even still here, but I couldnt move. I was to broken to move.

But soon, Brian did stumble in the doorway.

I turned over and saw him stand there, keeping himself up with the dresser.

Tears stained his face and I could smell the amount of liquor he had been drinking from here.

"Im sorry." He slurred looking at the floor.

I sat up on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to me.

He walked over and sat next to me, still crying.

I place my hands on his shoulder and he rested his forehead against mine.

"I failed you. I should have did a better job of taking care of you." He cried.

I shh'd him and ran my hand threw his hair, "Its okay Brian."

"Its not okay!" I yelled looking me in the eye, "I never meant it when I said I hated you. I love you so much."

I kissed him and grabbed his face, looking him in the eye, "I love you so much Brian."

He kissed me again, longer. He rested his hand on my side, then slowly ran his hand up to my chest.

I broke the kiss and looked him in the eyes.

He was so broken. He was so dried out of tears.

I bit my lip and placed my hands on his shoulders again and kissed him.

He grabbed me by both my sides and pushed me back on the bed. He hovered over me and started kissing my neck.

I knew where this was going. I wasnt sure if I was okay with it, but I felt for him. I knew he was drunk and he wouldnt remember, so why not?

He lifted my shirt off over my head and kissed down my chest. He started to slowly pull off my shorts. He unbuttoned his pants, then pulled off my panties. He barley let himself out of his pants and shoved his self inside me.

I covered my stomach and bit my lip, fighting any sound I was going to make from coming out.

Brian pushed me farther back on the bed and pushed in me deeper. He leaned down and kissed me.

We locked eyes and I knew, there was tension between us.

And it wasnt good.

He pushed into me harder and harder, making it hurt.

I clutched onto his arms beside me and dug my nails into them.

He slowed down and eased up on me a little. He buried his face on my neck and moaned as he started to go a little faster until he got off inside me. He pushed up off me and stood up, buttoning his pants.

I grabbed my clothes up off the floor and put them back on.

Brian just sat on the bed as I got dressed, but then I sat next to him.

I rested my head on his shoulder, but then he stood up.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

He walked to the door way and shook his head, "I'll sleep out here in the living room. You stay in here."

"Why not stay with me?" I asked him.

"I cant. I just, cant." He said heart broken.

I had no idea what I had done now, but he left me sitting on our empty bed, and walked away into the living room.