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Rap Monster

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You clasped your hands together as the wind raked through your body. It was stupid, coming to the Han River so late.

And to top everything off, you were only wearing a thin sweater on top of your jeans.

You weren't even sure what had compelled you to come out here. You should be sleeping - you had class tomorrow.

Pulling your knees to your chest, you encircled them with your arms.

You really shouldn't have come here.

Everywhere you looked was filled with memories.

Memories of when you and Namjoon had still been together.


It's been six months since the breakup.

The first two months were brutal.

You couldn't stop thinking about it, and the tears flew mercilessly. But eventually, you had learned to get over it.

Not completely, of course. The love you had for Namjoon was something you would never really be able to get over. But you had to move on. Soon thoughts of him only crossed your mind every other day.

Once a week, once every two weeks.

But you couldn't and wouldn't go any longer than that. You missed him. So much that sometimes you became numb.

You missed his warm hugs and his laughter. The way his eyes turned into half-moons when he smiled.

The way he knew exactly what was wrong.

But you couldn't pity yourself too much.

After all, it was you who had broken up with him in the first place.

Bringing yourself back to reality, you weren't surprised to find that a few tears had escaped down your face. You wiped them off roughly and held your knees in tighter.

You hadn't been thinking too much of the footsteps behind you, until the person stopped right beside you. Draping his jacket over your huddled form, he crouched down to sit next to you. Surprised, you turned your head to meet Namjoon.

He gave you a small smile.

"You're always like this - so... careless. Where is your jacket?"

His words enveloped you in warmth - you had forgotten how wonderful his voice was. Your voice cracked a little as you gave your reply.

"I-I forgot it."

He gave a small chuckle and nodded his head knowingly. He paused before speaking again.

"What are you doing here so late?"

He turned to face you, his eyes worried.

"I couldn't sleep. What about you? Are you cold?"

Namjoon stretched his arms as he answered your questions.

"Practice just ended... so I'm not cold."

He reached over to zip up the jacket around you, not minding that your arms were now stuck inside. You couldn't help but to laugh a little as you pushed your arms through the sleeves.

"Thanks," you smiled. You tried not to think of how hard your heart was beating at that moment.

Namjoon smiled in response and the two of you lapsed into silence.

It was refreshing to see him after so long. And a little awkward.

After around five minutes, Namjoon finally spoke.

"What kind of almond does a bird become after it dies?"

You smiled before answering.

"A die-amond. You got that from a drama."

Namjoon looked at you surprised, and then broke into laughter.

"You caught me."

"Is that all you could think of to say?"

Namjoon sighed. "Hey I'm just trying to make this a little less awkward."

The two of you started to laugh together then, because it was true. And for a minute you were reminded of the past, when the both of you would come to the Han River at night just to talk.

If only time would pause for a minute or two.

As your laughter quieted down, Namjoon became a little more serious.

"I just. I always wondered why. If it's not too much to ask."

You knew he was talking about the breakup. His voice was quiet and he avoided looking at you. You noticed that his hands were balled into fists.

You looked down at the sand.

"It's too much to ask."

He looked at you then, annoyance written on his face.


You looked at him innocently.


Namjoon smiled and shook his head. He thought for a minute, before asking you again.

"Tell me why. Even if you don't want to, tell me. Don't you think you owe me atleast that much?"

And he was right. After all that he had done for you, didn't you owe him atleast the truth? The two of you had dated for a little over a year.

"I think... that you will be mad if I tell you the truth."

He gave you his leader look.

"I'll be mad if you don't tell me."

You stayed quiet. After a minute, realization suddenly dawned on Namjoon face.

"No way..." he whispered.

You looked at him questionably as he looked back painfully.

"By chance, did my management company tell you to break up with me?"

Your eyes widened at his words.

Namjoon suddenly stood up and reached down to pull you up with him.

"Yah, tell me that you broke up with me because of something else. You wouldn't right? You wouldn't break up just because of my management company."

He wasn't mad.

He was furious.

"It's for the best," you weakly protested.

Namjoon grabbed both of your hands in his and held them tight.

"Do you still... have feelings for me?"

Your heart was beating too fast, and your vision blurred. Without knowing , you were on your knees, dizzy, and with tears trickling down your face. Namjoon bent down with you, and held you in his arms.

"I-he told me I would ruin your career. I would tear your dreams away from you."

If Namjoon hadn't been so close to you, he probably wouldn't have heard what you were saying. He waited for you to calm down a bit, before speaking.

"Don't cry, please. You... without you how can I even have dreams? Weren't you always the one supporting me through everything? And how will my music career be ruined if I'm in a relationship?"

Your face was buried in his chest and you were only listening to half of what he was saying. However you did hear his next words.

"Will you be my girlfriend again?"

You looked up at him, and before you could say anything, Namjoon cut you off.

"It'll be okay. If we're together, everything is going to be okay. So don't worry."

You were too tired to protest anymore, and too willing to get back together with him, so you gently rested your head back onto his chest and nodded.

If you guys were together, everything would be okay.

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