Jess' POV
Today is the first day of us trying to be friends. It's like kindergarten, or rather it is supposed to be. It is supposed to be like we have no past. But after my dream last night, and all the memories that finally came into focus, it was going to be harder than I thought.
I walked out of the bed area and saw only Calum was up. I looked at him, walking to the fridge. I grabbed the water filter and poured a huge glass, downing it in seconds. I was harshly gripping the counter, in an attempt to block out what I knew.
I had to, I wouldn't be able to start over if I still knew.
"Jess?" Calum's raspy morning voice knocked me out of my haze. "You okay." I turned slowly, eyes still on the ground.
"Ummm... Not really. I don't know how to describe it but..." I trailed off. Half of me hoped that Calum would want me to talk about it, the other half begged him to leave it alone.
Calum simply nodded and patted the couch beside him. I lumbered over and sat down, curling my knees into my chest. I placed my chin on my knees.
"What's up?" He asked. I inhaled a deep, exhausting breath.
"I've been having these dreams." I paused not quite sure how to describe it. "They started a couple months before tour, and they've continued. At first I just thought I was imagining things, everything was so clear. What I said, what was around me, everything was clear. Everything except for the person I was with. Their face was a complete blur." I looked at him trying to read a reaction.
His face was apologetic, and attentive, as if he hung on my every word.
"Recently though, actually last night, the face wasn't a blur."
"Well who was it?" I looked at Calum, who seemed very eager to know more.
"Well, it's Luke.." My eyes started to well up. Me telling this to someone had now made it completely real. "I just don't know what to do. I love Ashton so much, more than anything, but realizing that I am thinking about Luke this way, ugh I don't even know."
I hadn't realized that I was close to sobbing now. Calum wrapped me in a hug.
"Jess?" I nodded in his chest, signifying that he can answer. "I think those moments with Luke, are memories."
"I think they are too." I said. I wasn't even two hours into day one of starting over and I already knew I couldn't do it.
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Sorry I suck at updating in a good time, but hey! Here it is.
YOU ARE READING
Stranger || L.H.
Fanfiction"It's like I remember the things we did, but your face is just a blur, and I don't remember who you are, but you aren't just a stranger."
