Chapter 7

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author's note

hi guys! sorry but august has been super busy for me! im working on an update for raising peter right now and i wrote this quick last night! i know its kinda short and i apologise in advance, also sorry for any grammar/spelling errors :)


It was Monday.

Steve hadn't talked to or texted anybody since the party the other night.

He wasn't sure if it was him still being paranoid or not, but all he was afraid of was people talking about him and Tony. He was drunk and had no control over what he was doing. He didn't even really remember anything else that happened to him that night other than the kiss and the stupid game that he played.

He was still mad at both Tony and Bucky for what they had done and he couldn't believe that his best friend came up with the idea in the first place. Technically, he realized this was all Bucky's fault. It was Bucky who caused him to lose control over what he was doing.

He should've never gone to the party in the first place.


He met up with Natasha in the hallway, like always before the morning bell rang.

They started walking to their lockers together and Steve didn't want to start the conversation, not really knowing what to talk about. He looked around and felt like everyone was watching him as they walked together.

"So," Natasha started, breaking their awkward silence, "that was some party on Friday."

Steve adjusted his backpack and sighed, "Yeah, it was." He saw Natasha nod and he felt as if even she was looking at him differently.

They got to their lockers and as Natasha started to open hers Steve just had to clear the air with her, "Look, okay, at that party, I was drunk okay? Everything that happened, it didn't mean anything because I didn't know what I was doing."

She stared at Steve and then a few seconds later, nodded, "I know Steve, I believe you, and so does Bucky. Just don't listen to what all the other people say." Steve started to smile at the beginning of her sentence, but then frowned directly after she finished, "Wait, what? What other people? Who's all talking about it?"

This was exactly what Steve was afraid of.

Natasha just cleared her throat and looked away, not wanting to answer Steve, starting to feel bad.

"Natasha, tell me. C'mon, what are people saying?" Steve clenched his jaw. She finally looked at him, and sighed, "You know, about what happened. I didn't see it happen, but people are just saying things about it, exaggerated things, you know how people are."

Steve nodded and rubbed his forehead, not knowing how his teammates were going to see him, how the girls were going to see him, how Tony was going to see him. "Well this is fucking great." he muttered out of anger. He opened his locker and reached for his books, trying to think of how he was going to respond to questions asked or how he would deal with all his friends talking behind his back.

This had never happened to him before, nothing like this had ever put him in this situation. He felt like his life was falling apart and there was no way out of it, no excuse or loophole. He was stuck dealing with the fact that he kissed another man, and even worse, deep down Steve knew how he truly felt about it. He was drunk, sure, but he still remembered how he didn't hate that liplock.

"Hey, it's no big deal, seriously. This stuff happens to people all the time, people will forget about it by next week." Natasha knew that Steve wasn't going to easily shrug all of this off and tried her best to make him feel better.

"God, I hope so."


The rest of that school day felt like a living hell for Steve.

"Hey, Rogers, how 'bout that kiss?"

"Did you actually smile against his lips?"

"Were you really enjoying it?"

"Is there something you're not telling us?"

Half of the things people said to Steve were people who were only joking around and he managed to laugh it off with them. Other people he wasn't so sure about.

He went to all his classes taking different routes than usual to avoid seeing Tony in the hallway. He didn't want to see Tony's hazel eyes meet his own. He never knew when people were looking.

Steve thought about how Tony was handling all of this. If people were saying things to him too. He realized that if people were looking at Tony in the hallway or talking about him, Tony probably was used to it and paid no attention.

Everything was easier for the guy who had everything.


He walked to lunch by himself that day, or at least tried, until Sam and Bucky caught up with him.

"Hey man!" Sam nudged his shoulder and Steve just smiled at him. Bucky automatically sensed that Steve was clearly still mad at him, "Dude, c'mon, everyone knows you were drunk, it's not like people actually think-"

"Exactly. I was fucking drunk. You know what, Buck, none of this would be happening to me if you hadn't gotten me drunk in the first place. You set me up. You wanted this to happen." Steve interrupted him and said all the things that he wanted to say to Bucky from the moment he had gotten drunk.

Bucky wasn't used to Steve getting angry at him, in fact, it rarely ever happened at all. But in Bucky's defense, it was never his intention to hurt his best friend, he never planned Steve and Tony to kiss. All he wanted was to have a little fun and just let Steve get the feeling of being carefree for once. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up here. Yeah, I did get you drunk Steve, but only so you could just have a little fun for once and not be so serious about everything. I didn't set you up to kiss Stark. I never wanted that to happen." Bucky fairly defended himself and Steve just looked away,

"Whatever, still your fault."

Bucky knew there was no point in arguing and didn't know what else to say.

"Well, if you really think that people actually think that you're, you know, homo, all you gotta do is go out with a girl. Should be easy for you, all the girls love you, almost as much as they all love Stark." Sam tried to lighten the mood.

Steve just scoffed for no reason in particular. Although Sam was right, Steve didn't know if he really wanted to date a girl at this point, especially someone he really didn't have feelings for. He would do almost anything to clear the thought from people's heads that he's a homosexual or bisexual, except lying to himself about who he has feelings for- and at this point, even though he hated to admit it, he honestly didn't know.

The three of them entered the cafeteria and walked over to the lunch line.

While standing in line, Steve managed to half listen to something Sam was talking about, while at the same time, looking at their table. He saw that the only people sitting there was Pepper, Peggy, Bruce, Jane, and Darcy.

He found himself thinking about Tony more frequently as the day went on and he wondered where he was now. He's usually one of the first people to sit at their table along with Pepper but he wasn't there now. Maybe he was in the bathroom. Maybe he just hadn't gotten his lunch yet. Either way, Steve didn't care. He couldn't care less.

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