The Grudge •||• PA17

•||•

24 October 2025

The high altitude of Mexico City always made the paddock feel slightly surreal. The air was thin, the colors vibrant, and the engine notes cracked with a unique strain. I wasn't racing this weekend, the F1 Academy season was done until the finale, but I was here, flying with Ollie and the Haas team, a show of commitment after the chaos of Hungary and Zandvoort.

Our relationship, fueled by manufactured compromises, had stabilized. Ollie was performing well, having grabbed two consecutive P9 finishes in Singapore and COTA, and my intentional distance from Paul had apparently satisfied his demand for stability.

I was in the garage, reviewing data from the practice runs, when Kimi walked by, pulling off his headphones.

"Your boyfriend is making dramatic exits again," he observed dryly, nodding toward the pit lane exit.

"Just FP1, Kimi. He'll be fine."

Kimi leaned closer. "You're doing better, though. You look less stressed."

"I learned to choose my battles," I admitted, a slight bitterness flavoring the truth. "No arguments, no distractions. Just racing."

...

27 August

The paddock at Zandvoort had been almost empty, hours after my qualifying session. I found Kimi by the sea wall, staring out at the grey North Sea.

"You look like you're rethinking your existence," I'd commented, handing him a Monster.

He'd taken it, glancing at me. "Something like that. Mostly thinking why I continue to participate in this sport when I could be in universetiy."

"You love it, Kimi. Stop." I sat beside him, pulling my jacket tight against the chill.

"Love is complicated, Vivi. You know this better than anyone. I love Thea, but sometimes, the only thing that works is absolute separation." He gestured toward the deserted track.

"Is that your advice for me and Ollie? Absolute separation?"

"My advice is this: When you are with a man, and he consistently tells you that his failures are your fault, that is not a relationship. That's a hostage situation. Ollie is good, he was there for you. But he cannot accept that Paul exists, because Paul is a living, breathing reminder of the part of your life he couldn't control. You either cut Paul out completely, which I also would be glad if you do, or you force Ollie to grow up. The compromise you're making now? That's not sustainable. It's just delaying the impact."

I turned to him, recognizing the heat beneath his clinical assessment. "So, what happened between you and Thea? Because this talk is giving 'I'm having problems with the love of my life so let me save someone else'."

Kimi ran a hand over his face, sighing dramatically. "Sei un idiota... It's not about saving you, Vivi. It's about not letting you make the same stupid mistakes I am."

"So, what's the mistake? What happened?"

He looked out at the churning sea. "Remember the F1 movie premiere? The one where you and Paul talked for an hour?"

"Vaguely. Yes."

"Well, Thea and I had our own moment there. I needed to bring Eli because my manager said so and she saw us. She went silent. Distant."

"And you think she's mad? Because she is and I would be too"

"I understand why she'd be mad, frankly. I'm an idiot. I'm emotionally useless. But she's been hanging out with Colapinto now. They've been everywhere at the paddocks, laughing. Posting stories. It's driving me crazy. I hate seeing him around her."