Dear diary

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Please be aware that I wrote the first chapters of this story years ago, I promise you: the further you read, the better it will be.

"Dear diary" I wrote.

"Today he finally asked me out. I've looked forward to this longer than a year, but now, I'm starting to doubt if he really is the person I have always thought he is.

First of all; It has been hard just going around and hoping that he would ask me out. You see, nearly every day a boy ask me out. I always rejected them, just hoping that next time, he would be the one to invite me on a date.

I've understood that I'm the only one who thinks he is cute and nice. When I hear the other pupils attending our school mentioning him, they say that they hate him, and that he is the most annoying person they have ever met.

As you see, I don't know what to do anymore. I told him that I need some timw to think, but I promised that I would give him the answer tomorrow. Maybe I should ask Sarah. She is my best friend, and the only one who knows that I like him. She doesn't like him, just like everyone else, but at least she thinks it is okay that I do. Maybe it's because she's really into one of his best friends.

Actually, I think I'm going to say yes. One date couldn't possibly hurt, and I would hate to think I have spent such a big part of my life dreaming of Michael, and then rejecting him when he finally decided to ask me out."

I closed the diary and put it away. Some people might find it weird having a diary, but it made it a lot easier to keep track of my thoughts. Besides, one of my "life goals" when I was twelve, was being able to write something about my life about one time a week, and after I made it a habit, I never even thought of trying to stop.

Yawning, I quickly checked my phone for messages, only to see that I had none, and that it would be midningt in about four minutes. I silently cursed myself for not keeping track of the time while writing, and quickly went to bed, where I fell asleep even faster.

Usually, my dreams didn't make any sense at all. They always seemed to reflect every stupid thought that had ran through my mind thorough the day. Tonight didn't seem to be like that, seeing as I was standing in a very familiar room, with an even more familiar boy in front of me, and a feeling I didn't want to be familiar building up in my chest; the feeling of heart-break.

I looked at the boy, trying to understand the meaning behind the words that had just left his mouth, before my gaze once again hit the floor. Tears streamed down my face, not beliving that Harry Styles, my boyfriend of nearly two years, was breaking up with me. With tears covering all of my face I looked up at him one last time.

"Why?" I whispered. "Why?"

Waiting for an answear was not an opportunity. I turned my back on him, quickly made my way out, before actually running all the way home. Reaching out for the door-knob, I finally seemed to awake.


I looked up to the celing, a little confused. Years has passed since  we broke up. Why do I still dream about him? He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, and the first to break my heart, but still: why? He was just another boy from my past.

I opened my diary, and started to write.

"Dear diary,

I'm confused. He is still in my dreams, but I am sure that I have gotten over him. He was just a freaking idiot. But for many years now, I've been dreaming about this curly-haired boy from Chesire. And not just a random dream, always the day he broke up with me.

I don't know what I really feel anymore. For a whole year, I've had a crush on Michael. Maybe it's just because every other boy would do anything to be together with me. At least that's what my friends say. They may have a point; There has been many times where I have noticed boys looking at me when I walk past.

Maybe that's why I fell for Michael. Because he didn't want me. But I'm sure when it comes to Harry; he is just a boy - well, man now - from my past, that I couldn't care less about. Well, he's not exactly just in my past; It's hard to not think about a boy who's on TV, radio, in the newspaper: everywhere! I can't belive why this band he is in - Wrong infection? - is the biggest boyband in the world. They are just five singing idiots."


A/n: Hello! I actually started writing this story about two years ago - maybe even three -, and today I finally felt that the time had come to continue writing it. I hope to make the story a lot better than it used to be, and I would really appriciate it if you would take the time to read it!

Some info:
-As said, I started writing this years ago, and was kinda making it up as I wrote, so the plotline is a little messed up, but I will try to "even it out", if that makes any sense to you.

-Both the boys of 1D and I have changed, and that will of course affect the story. I'm not the same kind of fan as I used to be, and we now know so much more about the boys - talking personality, not facts. The story will be edited to match how the boys act now, but it will be hard, and will probably take som time.

-Please be patient while reading the start; it seems like one of those horrible, stereotypical fanfics about how Harry suddenly remember his childhood chrush, meets her again, and it turns out she is really popular and hot, and doesn't want him, but they end up falling in love nevertheless. Again, it's because I wrote this a long time ago, I will work hard to make sure it doesn't turn out like that.

-English is not my first language, and I'm - of course - trying to improve my english-writing, so I really don't mind you pointing out my mistakes, excpesially since I'm writing on my phone; typos occur easily!

-I will try to make my chapters longer than this, I should absolutely be able to, seeing as my writing has improved a lot.

Thank you for taking time to read my book, I really hope you enjoy it, and it would be wonderful if you decided to read a few more chapters:)

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