December 12th

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I woke up feeling sick. Sehun was standing next to my bed, "Ah... my hyung is awake." "What happened?" I asked as I sat up slowly. "You had a high fever for two days... You never woke up, you only kept shaking and had tears in your eyes." Sehun said as he poured some water for me. "I must've worried everyone..." I sighed as I drank my water. "Yeah, especially Jongdae hyung." I choked when I heard the name, "Huh?" "Dude, you called for his name in your dreams so many times, he literally had to stay by your side to comfort you the whole time you were sick." I looked down ashamed. "I did...? Where is he now?" "He went to rest after I kept telling him that I will take over for him." I got up and walked slowly to Chen's room. I almost tumbled but held on to the wall for support. He was asleep, his eyelids dark and loom. He stayed up the whole time and didn't rest. I pulled a chair over to the bed and sat down. I looked at him. He had some traces of eyeliner on his cheek. I guess Baekhyun wanted him to wear it for fun. I stroked his hair softly. He winced a little and slept again. I smiled a little. I kissed him on the cheek and left the room so he could rest.

I made some pancakes for myself and ate alone. The rest of the guys went out I guess. Sehun prepared coffee for himself and sat next to me. "So... just us..." I nodded and looked down. "We don't talk that much... Do you have anything to say?" I shook my head, "Sorry, Sehun... I'm just not in a mood to talk." "Dude, it's okay. I know how you feel." Sehun said and patted my back before leaving the kitchen. I sat there alone and looked outside the window while eating. It was raining. Sehun went out to work, leaving me all alone in the house. I watched TV and cleaned up the house.

During the afternoon, I felt a little dizzy and had to rest on the couch. I took some medicine and slept. I had a dream, but not about the accident, but I saw a meadow... Chen was standing on the top of the hill looking away from me. I ran over to him and stopped a foot away from him. He turned to me and smiled. I wanted to say something, but Chen grabbed my hand and ran down the hill.

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