Wicked Grace (on hiatus)

Chapter 2: The Memories That Haunt Us

Warning this page contains a memory of rape. If you want to skip, it starts at the > symbol and ends at the *.

My skin was scrubbed raw. Madame bathed, washed me and then scrubbed me over and over again. Every time she would dump the bucket of water over me, and the soap would recede she would frown, and grab the loofah and resume attacking the grime and dirt that latched to my skin. She kept scrubbing and scrubbing until finally she realized that the dirt wouldn't come out with mere water and her undying resolve for bathing me by herself.

Madame tossed the loofah into the tub and cursed out loud before stomping out of the room.I listened to her shout orders to her maids and the panicked pitter patter that followed. As I was left alone in the warm tub, I leaned back and lowered myself until the water was just below my nose. My eyes fluttered to a close as I allowed myself to enjoy the moment.

This was a piece of heaven, never would I have imagined I would be enjoying a bath. Sure I was bought, but before I would endure the years of servitude to my new master, I would indulge myself in this moment of reprieve.

After two years in that cell, watching people come and go, I have seen and heard the many horrors. I knew girls in that cell, those who came before me, comforted my cries when I was new and unbroken. They prayed for me and for each other, and held my hand when I shook terribly. Some of those girls broke free from the confines, bought by a compassionate master. Others not so much.

> I remember when one of Madame's henchmen stumbled down to the cell. He was steeped drunk in liquor and swayed a bit with each step. Marian was the girl whose cell was just right in front of me.

She was a kind girl, and often woke screaming in the middle of the night. She was a year younger than me and shared the same hue of our hair. Sometimes she reminded me of a shy cat, rarely seen, but presence always known.Marian had tried to squeeze herself into the corners when his eyes landed on her.

He looked at her hungrily with lust, like a glutton drooling at the sight of a feast. He opened her cell, and forced himself on her. She screamed and thrashed and pleaded, but she was too weak for his towering build.I watched in horror as he pinned her arms down and drove in and out of her. My hands reached out in protest as I heard her screams, but could only go so far against the restraint of a metal bar.

I shrieked, and yet the man continued like there was no one else there.The others did nothing, knowing well enough not to meddle in a lost cause. They simply gazed at me with sorry eyes and looked away. They tried to hush my screams in fear that I would bring harm to them, but I continued.

Another one of Madame's henchmen heard me and came down to shush the screams. He trotted down to the cell and saw his coworker defiling Marian. He took one look, smirked, opened my cell and pounded a wooden bat to my head. I fell into a whimper of pain, as my body was to buried with agony to protest.

I still remember her screams. It is one of the memories that haunt me whenever I close my eyes, but what swallows me is the guilt I carry. I did nothing to save her, when the guard beat me, my lips sewed shut and I swallowed every cry that escaped her lips.Still I saw Marian's gaze as she seized fighting. Tears rolled down her hollowed cheeks as her eye locked to mine. They were empty, the spirit in her quenched, but worst of all she looked at me understanding why.

* "Miss?" A voice draws me out of the lull of sleep.

Umber eyes greet me as I jolt forward. A younger girl, much younger than me stood at the edge of the tub. Her eyes still held the glint of naivety as she smiled at me. Her skin was the color of cinnamon, and her hair were black ringlets pulled back by a band.

"Madame called me to prepare you. It seems she had a hard time getting you ready. My names Tilly."

I nodded, and she walked behind me. Her slim fingers lifted my hair from the water and poured a substance that smelled like freshly picked roses. She massaged it from my scalp to my ends, humming as she did.

"It's rose oil. It softens the hair and make it smell good too."

"Did Madame allow you to use this for me?" I asked quietly.

"Oh no miss, the man who came and gave this to us and told us to use this on you. He said to make you look lovely as well."

I scoffed at her words. "Me? Look lovely. You would have more luck making a heifer win a beauty pageant."

Tilly chuckled. "Miss you already look lovely. I suppose all of this is simply for...." She paused thinking of a suitable word. "Enhancement."

"Enhancement?"

"Yes, miss. I hear Madame say it all the time. She says it whenever she finds the estate dreary and disappears into the city to buy new furniture."

Tilly moved to scrubbing my skin, and unlike Madame's harsh attack, she dabbed with such gentleness it was almost as if she was caressing a flower petal. Her gentle touch was so subtle that it made me realize how I ached to be blessed with such kindness. A tear slipped from my eyes followed by another, Tilly saw my tears and immediately jumped to my side.

"What's wrong miss? Does something hurt?"

I shook my head. "No, no. It's just... I had forgotten what kindness is like."

The young girl reached for my hands and clamped it with her own. She gazed into my eyes and smiled through them. "Miss I will do my best to show you that there is still good left in the world."

After the bath Tilly dressed me in an emerald dress. It hung low on my chest and ballooned from my waist down. It was a beautiful dress, surely it was the most expensive I have ever worn in my life. After she braided my hair in a knot she led me to a mirror that was latched into a wall. I had refused to look afraid of what would be reflected, but Tilly held my hand and urged me to do so.

A girl with lifeless bronze hair and pale skin greeted me. Her cheeks were a bit hollow, and there were bags under her eyes. Collarbones protruded from her skin in a sickly way, and the lining of her rib cage were clear as day. Her green eyes were empty, almost as if she had grown tired just by waking up each morning.Her lips were cracked and were in a shade of beige. Though they revealed to have been once a healthy red. The girl before me was a walking skeleton and it terrified me.

"You're still beautiful, miss." Tilly smiled. "And don't worry, once we get some food in your stomach and some sunshine in your skin you'll be looking like your old self."

"I wish I knew what my old self-looked like." I muttered.

"You don't know?"

"We never really had mirrors when I was younger. And ever since I was taken I haven't really..." a croak crawled to my throat.

"It's okay miss. I understand."I smiled at her, thankful for understanding. Suddenly the wooden doors that led to the room burst open.

Madame strode in a furry a haste in her step. She took one look at me, waved a hand of dismissal at Tilly and then started circling around me like a vulture.

"What is your name girl?" she asked in a brash tone.I cringed at her voice and grew quiet. My lips had seemingly sewn themselves shut and was forbidding me to answer. I was terrified of this woman, her very existence was like poison. Something that destroyed everything it touched.

"Answer me!" She shrieked impatient at my lack of a word.

"Avia." I stuttered out.

"You will remember to speak when spoken to. And raise your head, the heavens know I need you to show that you are in fact in one piece. I don't after all, sell people who lack limbs"Just then the sound of galloping horses came, and the sound of a carriage being dragged followed. Madame's eyes widened at the realization of her arriving guest and quickly ushered me out of the room.

"Follow me." she called, and I hurriedly did so.