Cracking Her Code

Chapter 37

Simone's POV

I sat curled on Nyk's couch, wrapped in the blanket she'd draped over me like I was something fragile. She hadn't said much since I walked in, just sat beside me, quiet, steady, watching me like I might shatter again if she moved too fast. 

I glanced over at her. Her eyes were soft, patient. She didn't ask questions. She didn't push. 

"I love you so much it hurts," I said quietly, voice still raw. "This situation we have ... it hurts."

Her gaze didn't waver. 

"I can't lose you, Nyk," I whispered. "You're the only person right now who makes me feel like a person."

I let out a shaky laugh, wiping at my eyes. "Oh my God. This hard-ass professor is crying on her girlfriend's couch. Don't tell anyone."

Nyk smiled, her laugh low and warm. "Secret's safe with me."

I leaned forward, peeling off my coat and tossing it onto the chair where the blanket had come from. My body is finally starting to thaw. I reached for the beer on the table and took a long sip, letting the bitter cold settle in my chest. 

Nyk stood up, disappearing into the kitchen for a moment. When she came back, she had another beer in one hand and a plate in the other with two slices of pizza. She handed me the plate without a word. 

I looked up at her, eyes stinging again. "You always know what I need."

She sat down beside me, close enough that our shoulders touched. 

"I just know you," she said softly. 

We ate our pizza in silence. Nyk didn't say anything, just sat beside me, her presence like a weighted blanket over my spiraling thoughts. 

I leaned my head back against the couch and let out a slow breath. "When you're around ... everything feels like it's going to be okay. My mind stops overthinking everything. It's like you quiet the noise."

Nyk turned toward me, her voice soft but sure. "Maybe that's just a sign."

I looked at her, confused but curious. 

She smiled gently. "That I'm your forever and nothing is going to tear us apart."

My chest tightened. 

"I'll do whatever I have to, Simone," she continued. "Even if it means putting this on pause until I graduate. If that's what it takes to protect you, to keep your career safe, I'll do it because I'm so crazy in love with you."

Her voice cracked slightly, but she didn't look away. 

"I don't love easily," she added. "But I love you and I'm not letting go."

The tears came again, slow and quiet. I didn't sob this time, I just let them fall. Because the thought of not being close to Nyk, of having to pull away from her, broke something inside me. 

I reached for her hand and held it tight. 

"I don't know how to do this without you," I whispered. 

"You won't have to," she said. "We'll figure it out. Together."

"We should probably figure out what this looks like," I said quietly. "When we're back at school. Maybe even more cautious than we already have been."

Nyk nodded, her thumb brushing over mine. "I agree."

I hesitated.  "Would it be weird if I spent more time here than we do at my house? Just .... in case."

Her face lit up with that soft, knowing smile that always made me feel seen.

"Absolutely not weird." She leaned in, kissing my forehead gently. "You have a key, babe. If I'm not here, you can let yourself in, just like you did tonight."