Rivalry

30 - Afterglow & Other Disasters

(Wooyoung POV)

He hadn't meant to choose.

Not really.

It wasn't like he'd stood in front of some metaphorical fork in the road, drawn up a pros and cons list, and confidently circled San. No, it had just... happened. A kiss. A touch. A mistake.

 A choice made by skin and heat and steam and need.

Now, because of one moment in the shower, it was real. Which meant it was dangerous. He couldn't stop replaying it in his head. 

The graphic part were bad enough but the emotional ones were worse.The way San had kissed him like he couldn't help it. 

The sound he made when he came. 

The softness right after, when his thumb brushed under Wooyoung's chin, like he didn't want to let him go.

That was what haunted him.It had felt like more.

Which meant it probably wasn't.

***

He spotted San in the hallway the next morning and immediately regretted everything he had ever done in his life.

San had his hood up, his gaze down, and the exact expression of a man who was determined to avoid conversation at all costs. 

Wooyoung stopped walking. 

Paused for half a second too long. San walked past him. No greeting. No nod. 

Just the faint scent of eucalyptus shampoo and Wooyoung's own shame rising like bile. 

The edge of his sleeve brushing against Wooyoung's hand. It felt like static. Then it felt like shame.

Wooyoung walked the other way, heart in his throat, his mind racing.

Oh. Okay. We're doing this.

We're ignoring it.

Was it just sex? Did I misread it? Was it pity? Did I come too fast?

Do I look like I care too much? Does he regret it?

He had no answers.

He didn't know how to explain it to himself, let alone anyone else.

He wasn't with Jihun, not really. Only that door had always been open. 

A shiny, polished fantasy. A safe place to flirt and pretend and maybe build something beautiful and simple if the world got too complicated.

Now that door was shut. Slammed shut based on what had just happened in the shower. San wasn't simple. San was chaos and tension and steam and teeth. San was real.

It had meant something, but what Woo wasn't sure. Wooyoung had acted out the fantasy, he'd stopped thinking and just responded. What the hell had he done.

***

An hour later, Jihun breezed into the studio holding two iced coffees, smug as always, his smile just sharp enough to be dangerous.

"Morning, sugarplum. You look like regret in designer sweatpants."

Wooyoung looked up from his phone. "Go away."

"Would love to, but I brought you caffeine." He wiggled the cup. "Try not to cry into it."

Wooyoung took it without a word. Sipped. Refused to look grateful.

Jihun sat beside him, crossing his legs elegantly. "Something is clearly up with you and him. Woo looked across the room at San who was studiously ignoring everyone, facing the wall, stretching.

"You could talk to him, you know." Jihun suggested, following Woo's stare.

Wooyoung glared. "Who."

"Oh please."

He didn't answer. Just drank.

Jihun tilted his head. "He's been weird all day, too. Stiff. Awkward. Not even stretching near people."

"Maybe he pulled something."

"Mhm."

Wooyoung muttered something under his breath and pretended to scroll Instagram.

His skin buzzed with guilt.

***

At lunch, he sat down beside Yeosang without a word.

Yeosang handed him a banana and didn't ask a single question.

Wooyoung peeled it slowly, took one bite, then whispered, 

"I think I fucked up."

Yeosang nodded once. 

"Definitely."

"Okay, rude."

"You weren't subtle."

Wooyoung stared at the table. 

"I didn't mean to choose. I just... reacted."

Yeosang didn't say anything.Wooyoung whispered, 

"I don't think I can go back."

"To Jihun?"

"To the fantasy."

Yeosang was quiet for a long moment. Then asked quietly 

"Was it worth it?"

Wooyoung didn't answer.

Yeosang said nothing else.

Just let him sit in the quiet, wrapped in fabric and guilt.

***

That night, he couldn't sleep. He kept going over it in his head.

The way San had looked at him. The way he hadn't looked at him after.

He reached for his phone. Thought about texting San. He thought about making it into a sarcastic joke. 

Thought about pretending it hadn't mattered.Only he didn't,  he couldn't, because it had mattered. 

A lot actually. If San didn't feel the same way, then there was no way he could put voice to this feeling. Saying it out loud would just make it so much worse, more real.

Instead he stared at the ceiling, and his mind spiraled around and around.

Sleep didn't come.