In Between Codes

Chapter 4

"Tomy! Wake up! You're gonna be late for school!" Martha called through the door.

Tomy barely registered the words at first. His eyes were still closed, and his brain felt like it was wrapped in a fog. The remnants of sleep clung to him, but for some reason, something felt different today. His body, normally sluggish and heavy in the mornings, felt oddly light, as though the weight of his blanket wasn't pressing down on him in the usual way. Even his muscles, which usually screamed for a few more minutes of rest, felt unexpectedly relaxed, like he'd been stretched out in ways he hadn't realized.

It was as if his skin was suddenly more aware of itself, and he liked it.

But then, the door creaked open, and the light from the hallway spilled into the room. The sudden brightness hit his face like a bucket of cold water, and he groaned softly, shifting to bury his head deeper into the pillow. Maybe if he just stayed still enough, his mom would leave him alone.

"Tomy, come on! You can't sleep forever!" 

He cracked his eyes open just a little, hoping to sneak in a few more seconds of sleep. But then he saw them.

The panties on the floor.

Pink. Bright pink. Right there on the floor. So clearly visible, so completely in the open. His heart leapt into his throat, and in a panic, he shot upright. His legs tangled in the blanket, and his body felt like it was moving in slow motion, desperate to obscure the female piece of clothing with a hasty kick. But all it did was slide further into the open, right into his mom's line of sight as she stood in the doorway, her expression unreadable.

"Uh... I... um..." Tomy stammered, his face burning hotter than a furnace..

Martha didn't say anything at first. 

"Tomy," she said, after what felt like an eternity. "Hurry up or you'll be late for school."

Tomy had forgotten to set an alarm. He relied on Samantha to wake him up, her soft voice pulling him from sleep at exactly the right moment. But since he hadn't placed the earpiece in its usual spot on the nightstand, he had missed the wake up call.

Still feeling the heat in his face, Tomy quickly scrambled into his clothes. His mind was racing, but not in the way it usually did when he was focused on coding or something interesting. No, this was the kind of racing that happened when he couldn't shake off the feeling that everything had just gone terribly wrong.

He glanced at the floor, where his earpiece still lay, waiting patiently for him. Tomy picked it up and brought it toward his ear, but just before he slide it in, he stopped.

He thought back to last night, to the way Samantha said he was trans, telling him that he was a woman. He didn't need that. He didn't need a machine trying to convince him otherwise.

With a quiet sigh, he lowered the earpiece and set it down on his nightstand, deliberately far from where he could reach it easily. He gave it one last, lingering glance, then turned away, walking out of the room without another word. For better or for worst, he would face it the day on his own.

****

Tomy barely noticed the hustle and bustle of exited teenagers as he shuffled down the hallways of school. He was lost in his thoughts, still trying to process the embarrassment of the morning, the pink underwear that seemed to haunt him with every step.

He passed groups of students laughing and talking, their casual conversations like a blur in his peripheral vision. Why does everyone seem so normal? he thought, feeling the familiar sense of being out of place. Socializing didn't come naturally to him. Without Samantha to guide him he felt naked, defenseless.