I was in Grade 6 when I first met him by the river, the one where Dad bought land to build his business on.
He was just sitting there, staring at the river. You could tell from his face that he was deep in thought, carrying something heavy inside. I was about to walk over to him, but then I heard him crying while still looking at the water.
A part of me felt sad and wanted to go to him, but I couldn't. I was too shy to even say hi. I kept overthinking that maybe he'd be scared of me because of my face that always looked grumpy.
My classmates didn't like me either—they were scared of me for the same reason. But I didn't really care, because I already had Dylan, Miro, and Kenji.
I only ended up there because I went with Dad to see the land he was talking about. But when I saw him, I started coming back every day—even if Mom would scold me for getting home late.
For almost three weeks, I patiently waited for him, just wanting to see him again.
I was about to give up when he finally came. I still remember—it was 4 PM. He was in the same spot again, sitting there, staring at the river and the setting sun.
From that day on, I saw him every day. I kept looking for his face. Sometimes, I even wanted to skip class just to go back to that river.
I would always hide from a distance behind a tree—so he wouldn't see me watching.
From there, I saw all of his emotions. Sometimes, he was happy. Sometimes, he looked so sad. But most of the time, he cried while pouring his heart out to the river.
It became my routine to watch him from afar. I didn't realize I was already acting like a stalker back then, but I didn't care—what mattered to me was seeing him.
Then came the day when Dad had to start building his business there. I got nervous, afraid that he'd lose the place where he could let out his emotions. I knew nothing about him because I couldn't approach him—I was scared and had no courage to get close.
I cried to Dad, begging him not to build anything on that land. He refused, saying we needed it. So I told him I'd start fixing my studies if he would give in to my request.
My parents were already stressed because I wasn't doing well in school, so I used that as my reason. Eventually, they bought another piece of land for their business instead.
It was hard to keep my promise, but I did it because I didn't want them to destroy this beautiful river. At first, it was difficult, but I pushed myself so I wouldn't fail. I cut back on watching anime and focused on my studies.
There were times I would be at the river, in my spot near a tree, hiding while doing assignments, waiting for him to come. Seeing him made me happy—it motivated me to study more.
Until I found out we were in the same school, same grade level. That's when I learned more about him—
Emiliano Lawson Flores.
I learned that, like me, he only had three friends, and that he was smart.
That made me work even harder. Sometimes, all I did was study, and I did it without anyone's help. I also joined as an officer—not just to get his attention, but because I truly wanted to help other students.
By Grade 9, I became even more dedicated—to my duties and to catching his attention. Even if he didn't like me, I didn't know why, I was still happy. I was so happy that I'd write about our moments in my diary, even if we never actually talked.
