(An extract from Niall's diary)
What did I do? I'm not that cruel or egotistical. Why did I give her the impression that I'm not worthy? She was so kind to me and welcomed me into her life with warmth. And I let her down. She was all happy and sharing when I suddenly attacked her.
Dear diary. After I slammed the door on her I couldn't move an inch away from it, but leaned against, my head banging on with anger. Harry was standing a few steps away from me astonished. "What the hell?" He said, but I ignored him. I was so envious that I found myself yelling at Harry. I asked him why does he need to be so close to her. For god sake, she's just an ordinary worker and we are fucking celebrities. And I said more that I couldn't even remember. But I'm regretting it now. The only statement I heard from Harry was that I'm messed up and need help. I'm sure I said something so mean and left his room. Why why? I have no answers to any of these. I think I lost her and my best friend both at the same night because of my fucking madness.
I am a chaos. I mess not only mine, but others' lives too. Writing all this supposed to be my therapy but why is my heart's still heavy?
So I thought that was it. I will never ever look at her or have a conversation with her. I don't want to lead her to any more confusion. The world is such a cruel place, but it must not be this cruel behind the stage. I am bound to entertain people with or without my actual intention. But, behind that very stage I must not create a hell for others. Especially for Rachel. But the thought of staying away from her did no good for me.
I saw her yesterday on the main stage, happily dancing with her friends. That sight of her... how can I explain that stunning moment to you? She was glowing like an angle. Her little feet were dangling along to the tune of their song. Yes! She was singing. I did not see that coming. Not at all. For one second my mind repeated the verdict that she chose the wrong side of the stage. I was just passing by, but I couldn't move by the way she was enjoying what ever she was happy about. I've never seen her so happy. Whenever I meet her, she was either hurt or surprised. She has an amazing smile that everyone can easily fall for her. The rose blush on her cheeks and her wavy hair floating in the air made me wonder where the hell I was for all these years. We both shared the same air, same food, but I've never noticed her. Maybe that's because I was blinded by that dark force. While one girl was trying to control me and was holding onto my fame for benefits, this other girl was constantly backing me up to rise above from the normal and shedding tears and sweat with endless sleepless nights, to help me help this other girl which has nothing but a blank page.
To whom should I blame for this? No one but simply... Me.
(Niall's POV)
Right my part.
"All my life
You stood by me
When no one else was ever behind me
All these lights
They can't blind me
With your love, nobody can drag me down."
'Drag me down! Drag me down! Drag me down!' I got down from the stage chanting as it has stuck in my head. Such powerful lyrics. How did he actually manage to rhyme them? Hmm...
Louis walked quickly with Liam and Harry to get changed. This was our second sound check as we are performing tomorrow night. Zayn was having a slight problem with his favorite ear piece so he gave it to Dean for a check.
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BackStage (Niall Horan Fan Fiction)
FanfictionRachel Knights, for the sake of an ordinary life, covered herself with a heavy enigma. But she was able to find her dream job at the backstage of the world's biggest boy band. There she became the main part of a mischievous gang which is made of fou...
