Prologue

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I'm not the first to want what I can't have, but my problem runs irreparably darker than that. My dark lust can't be sated by normal means, or even slightly less-than-normal means. Role playing and dominant games with their bullshit negotiations and imposed limits don't do it for me.

I'm not interested in love or the endless complications of a relationship. I don't even want respect or mutual understanding.

I want pain, because pain is the only thing real—the only thing we control and share. The only result of every relationship—every life.

Pain is inevitable, and I'd rather jump to the chase and wrestle it by its thorny horns than wait for it to sneak up on me.

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