16 | The Truth

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The rays of light from the rising sun broke through the barren branches of the trees surrounding me

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The rays of light from the rising sun broke through the barren branches of the trees surrounding me. The deer stand sat tucked away at the end of a long lane that my father had cleared with the tractor and planted lines of green clover.

I scanned the tree line along the edges of the lane in search of deer, but they just didn't seem to be moving this morning. A cool breeze blasted over the top of the metal walls that boxed me in the stand and made me shiver. I shifted my mask higher up on my nose and settled back into the creaky computer chair my father had brought to the stand. My fingers dug into the pockets of my hoodie beneath my orange safety vest in search of some warmth.

Thanksgiving day was always my favorite time to hunt because the temperatures were cool and I could hunt as long as I wanted. My mother wasn't worried about what time I came home; she was only worried about cooking a perfect Thanksgiving dinner.

The quiet whirring of the deer feeder's motor broke the silence of the morning when it sent corn flying to the ground. The barrel of my gun glistened in the sunlight beside me.

I enjoyed deer hunting, but it wasn't for the thrill of the kill like most people. Being on the stand was a way to avoid dealing with my parents. It also gave me a lot of time to think about my life. My fucked up life.

After we arrived at the house yesterday, I'd locked everyone out of my room. I didn't cry during the car ride because I refused to give my parents that satisfaction, but once I was alone there was nothing I could do to stop the tears from falling. My thoughts left me completely destroyed. I could only think about how much I hurt Daxson. Why wasn't I brave enough to tell him the truth? It would've been that easy.

A pair of birds flew from the trees to peck at the corn beneath the feeder. They ate for a bit before they took off, chasing each other through the trees like quarreling couple. I wasn't brave enough because I cared about him, and I knew telling him would mean losing him. Wow, how selfish can I be? I pulled my phone out of my hoodie pocket and opened the messages between Daxson and I again. He still hadn't responded, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized he wasn't going to. I fought back the tears by expelling a deep breath from my lungs and grabbed my rifle. The quietness of the stand gave me too much time to think.

After securing the strap of the gun around my body, I descended the stairs until my feet crunched the dried leaves littering the ground. I'd run through a million different situations as I'd tried to imagine a better outcome for yesterday, but every scenario ended the same way. My father would never budge on allowing Daxson into my life, and my mother would continue to use Caleb as a manipulation tool. They'd trapped me into choosing between two people I loved.

I walked the long path from my stand to the field at the edge of my grandpa's land. I glanced at the red damp soil beneath my boots, where imprinted in the mud on the backroad was a fresh trail of deer tracks that led into the woods. I turned away; my fingers curled around the strap of my gun as I walked along the rutted road to my grandpa's farmhouse. Ahead, the metal roof of the shop shimmered in the morning light, and the orange-pink sky was giving way to bright shades of blue.

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