Bright Flame, Deep Shadow (lesbian story)

Flick

I'm awoken at sunrise by three brisk raps on my bedroom door. My stomach flips as I untangle myself from the bedclothes. Not that I slept much last night.

"I'm coming!" I call softly as I fumble for the dressing gown on the back of the door, before padding over to the small, cracked mirror on the wall. I give myself a brief inspection—my hair's not too bad since I plaited it last night, and I don't have any drool crusted to my face or anything, so that's something. My ginger hair and red dressing gown clash like jousting knights, but it'll have to do.

I take a deep breath and open the door.

Before me stands Grumach, her brown eyes bright as if she's been up for hours. "Good morning, Freya!" she chirps. Her wide grin eases my nerves slightly—but only slightly.

"Good morning, Councillor," I say, inclining my head politely. As I do, I notice a thin black box under her arm, and my heart almost stops. I know what that is.

"May I come in?" Grumach says airily. "I think we require some privacy." She tips her head at the small group of third-years who've gathered on the landing, looking anywhere but at Grumach.

"Uh, of course," I say, stepping aside so she can pass. My room is embarrassingly messy (we're supposed to have room inspections, but nobody ever bothers), but I don't have the wits to worry about it more than kicking yesterday's underwear under the bed and praying Grumach is also too occupied to notice. I close the door behind her, and then we are alone.

"Freya, your performance over the last three days has been outstanding," Grumach begins.

I hold my breath.

"Overall, you scored 94% on the theory tests—"

My heart starts to beat so fast I swear my entire body is pulsing with it.

"And after reviewing yesterday's duel, I have scored you 89%." Grumach takes the black box from under her arm and flicks a switch on the side. The box springs open. I hardly dare to breathe, or blink, or say a word, in case this is all a dream and I wake myself up.

Inside the box is a dagger. This one isn't like our training daggers—a Healer's never blessed this one. The edge will be sharp enough to shave with.

"Take it," Grumach urges, "you've earned it."

My hands tremble as I take the dagger from its box and weigh it in my right hand. It's quite heavy, but reassuringly so, and I'm in no doubt about the damage this blade will do when the time comes. I turn it in my hand—the steel is dark, almost black, but the morning light glitters along the blade like little stars. The hilt is wrapped in soft boiled leather, and the weapon sits in my hand as if it were made for this moment.

The moment I am a Shadow Sorcerer.

"Thank you, Councillor," I manage to say. I can't find any other words, so I go back to staring at my new blade in awe.

Grumach nods in satisfaction. "I'm glad it suits you. It's so embarrassing when the student's hands are too small for the hilt." Her face breaks into a grin when she spots the chest I packed the other day sitting by the door. "Are you packed already? That's convenient. I'd like to be off as soon as possible, the sooner to get to Wintermouth. Are you prepared to leave, Freya?"

"Of course." I've been preparing to leave since Tanvik told me I was ready to take the graduation exam.

"Good. Get dressed, and meet me in the carriage hall." Grumach gives me a final smile before turning to leave.

"Um, Councillor--" I call after her.

She turns, one eyebrow arched. "Yes?"

"May I say goodbye to a friend before I go?" I hope Grumach doesn't somehow pick up on how strange it feels to me, referring to Bella as simply a 'friend'.

"I'm sorry, Freya," Grumach says smoothly. "There's simply no time."

I nod, disappointed but not surprised. We'd done the crying and all that last night, anyway (though it was actually Bella who cried the most, not me). I close the door behind Councillor Grumach and start to change into the comfortable travelling clothes I'd picked out last night. My dagger lies on my bed, winking knowingly at me in the light.