Hacker • English Version

Chapter 8

Faye's POV

This is a really bad time for my cousin Noknoi to try and kill me. I'm already stressed out after leaving Yoko. My brain won't stop spinning, trying to figure out what went wrong with her. I feel like I missed something important.

I hate missing things. I didn't survive in this family for thirty years by making mistakes. I know how to read people. I control situations like a game.

But not with Yoko.

With her, I feel lost. Weak. Exposed. I feel hurt and ashamed, and it makes me angry too. I was too harsh. I treated her badly. Even though she pushed me away at first, I shouldn't have reacted like that.

I liked you better on the phone.

Why the hell did I say that?

When I think about that moment, I can feel her body freeze. I remember how she pulled away like I had slapped her.

What I meant was that she seemed to like me more on the phone. I liked that side of her. Sweet, curious, warm in my ear. Not the version that avoided me in person, breathing heavily like she couldn't wait for me to leave.

Maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe I made a fool of myself.

And thinking about how I touched myself while talking to her... God. I shut my eyes, face burning.

"Faye," the boss snaps. "Are you awake?"

We're in his office, full of expensive wooden shelves and untouched leather books. His closest men are here, getting updates on business—our turf, our political connections. I should be paying attention. I'm the one running things from behind the curtain.

"Yes, sir," I say quickly. I force myself to focus, though I notice Noknoi smirking from across the room. Yeah, he really thinks he's next in line for my job. Idiot. I give him a cold glare and he nearly pees himself.

I need to take care of him. But for now, there are bigger problems.

Like the hitman who broke into my apartment while I was out. Ola told me everything—about the kicked-in door and boot prints. Her hands were shaking on her mop handle when she told me.

I sent her home. Told her to stay away for a while. I'll pay her no matter what, but I don't want her to get hurt. She's a good woman. And her perogies are delicious.

"Faye," the boss says, "go visit the members' clubs. Get some dirt on the new guys. Take someone with you."

"Nok," I reply, smiling slowly as I look at my cousin. He turns pale and shifts in his seat.

"I'll take Nok."

"Good," the boss says, waving us off. Everyone gets up, chairs creaking. "Do it."

—Oh, I will.

── .✦. ──

I call Yoko in the afternoon while standing at a pig farm, about twenty miles from the city. I watch pigs chew through what's left of Noknoi. His body is almost gone now.

It doesn't make me feel good. It's just a job done. And hopefully, the hitmen will stop coming—at least for a while.

The boss won't like this. But whatever. He's never happy. And anyway, Noknoi started it.

Honestly, pigs are better than any cleaner. They're eating everything—bones, clothes, boots. It's actually peaceful out here... if you ignore the crunching.

Yoko takes a while to answer. For a moment, I worry she's thrown away her burner phone. Or worse—maybe she's done with me for good.

"Hello?" Her voice is soft and shaky.

"Yoko." I know no one else would be calling this number. But she still gasps when she hears me.

"Oh. Faye."

Yeah.

"Oh, Faye," is probably all I deserve after what I said earlier.

The more time passes, the more I rethink what happened this morning. I see it from new angles now. Like I'm watching it on a camera.

And I don't like what I see.

Yoko was scared. Nervous. And she made me nervous too. But instead of helping, I made things worse.

I once threatened to kill her. And after finally getting her to come home, I exploded. I should be the one with the pigs.

"Um," she says, because I'm still silent. I'm too deep in my own thoughts. "What's up?"

"Nothing much." I look at the setting sun. The light feels heavy. "Just getting rid of a body. Remember Noknoi?"

She pauses. Then says, completely blank—"Are you threatening me again? I told you I wouldn't talk to you if you did that."

Bang. That's the sound of my heart hitting my ribs, sending a sick, cold feeling through my chest. She's still scared of me. I rub my eyes hard.

"I'm not threatening you, baby."

Another small sound.

"Baby, huh? You really do like me better on the phone."

Shit.

"I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it that way."

"Yes, you did."

"No. I liked you in person too. Seriously. With those cute bangs. Those vintage sneakers. I just didn't like how you ignored me."

She doesn't say anything, so I keep going.

"You were beautiful and smart, and you wouldn't even look at me. After everything we shared. Do you know how much I wanted you to look at me?"

"I was nervous," she whispers. I grip the phone tighter. "I didn't mean to be cold. I just panicked."

God. That hurts.

"I know. I get it now. Please let me try again. Let me come back. We'll do it right this time. You'll look at me, and I won't be a jerk."

"What if I can't?" Yoko whines, loudly enough that I move the phone away from my ear. "What if I mess it up again?"

She sounds so dramatic that I laugh. It echoes across the farm. The pigs stop eating and stare at me like I'm crazy.

"Stop laughing!" she says, but I hear the smile in her voice. Thank God. We're getting somewhere. The ice is breaking. "That was my first kiss! And look how it ended! I don't know if I can do any of this, Faye."

That makes me feel better.

"I didn't know it was your first."

"Would you have been gentler?"

I grin.

"Probably not. I'm not gentle. I was so damn hungry for you I could barely think. But I wouldn't have left like that. There would've been a second kiss. A third. And a lot more."

She breathes slowly.

"...Yeah? Like what?"

She's giving me a chance. I glance at the sky. Thank God.

"What would I have done?" I ask, watching the last of Noknoi disappear. I turn and walk back to my car in rubber boots. The farmer knows not to bother me. I reach the car and get in, putting her on speaker. "I could tell you. But I'd rather show you. First, I need a shower. I smell like pigs."

She laughs—and it's the best sound in the world. It fills the car like sunlight. I grip the wheel as I drive toward the highway. The light outside is soft and pink... just like her lips.

"You can shower here," Yoko says quietly.

I look into the rearview mirror, watching the farm disappear behind me.

"I'm on my way."