His Heart's Love (Book 3 in His Heart's Series)

Chapter 10

Andi

"I'm sorry..."

"Waking up that morning next to divorce papers, and finding you gone, was more than just a knife to the chest," I forced through my tears. "You should have just killed me in my sleep, Ethan," I said brokenly.

"There were nights when I wished I wouldn't wake up because every morning I wake up brings me back to that day. You don't know how painful that was for me..."

"You're wrong. I do know. I know because every morning I wake I wish I had done things differently. I wish I had stayed," Ethan said.

"You didn't come back," I three back at him.

"I didn't think I could," Ethan responded.

"No. You were just a coward. You didn't want to deal with the consequences, and you ran. You kept on running away, instead of choosing to be brave, and hoping for a second chance."

"Would you have forgiven me?" He asked.

"Yes. I would have, no questions asked. No begging. A simple, I'm back would have done. A simple, I'm sorry; I was wrong; I made a mistake; I shouldn't have left... Any of those words would have been enough, Ethan," I forced through my tears. "All I wanted was you! I just wanted you beside me."

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again.

"Every morning when I wake up, I hurt," I said to him, though words would never be enough to explain how much he has hurt me.

I took a deep breath, before I continued. "When I married you, I took my vows seriously. For better or for worse. For richer or poorer. In sickness and in health. I vowed to always love you, and always be there beside you. I vowed to wake up every morning, loving you more than I did yesterday. But you gave up so easily. You gave up before we even began."

"I had a lot to prove then. To everybody, I just didn't want to fail them. I didn't want to fail anyone."

"But you did. You failed me, and you failed yourself," I pointed out.

"You nearly killed me, but I survived. And do you know how I survived?" I asked.

He simply looked at me, with tears in his eyes.

"It's because I had the very best part of you, and she's inside that house," I said, as I pointed towards the house.

"I survived because I had Faith."

His eyes welled with tears.

"I carried you in my heart. Always. And that is how I survived," he responded.

I wiped my tears away and remained silent at his declaration.

"I left without saying goodbye, because I wouldn't have been able to leave, if I had," he said. "Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever had to do."

"But you did leave me, Ethan, so it couldn't have been that hard. And the way you did? It was cruel, and unforgivable!" I said, my voice cracking with emotions.

"I know, but you can't think that it was easy, because it wasn't!" He insisted.

"You still don't get it. The point is that, you didn't have to leave! You wanted to leave, Ethan," I yelled. "You wanted to leave, because you were afraid that my past would get out, and your reputation would be tarnished by marrying a stripper. You were afraid that your clients would lose faith and confidence in you, if they found out, what kind of woman you married," my voice cracked.