twenty nine - harry

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                     With a sigh, he picked himself up and fell on Louis' bed, breathing in his scent and feeling the softness of the sheets and the pillows that he had laid with his lover so many nights. He couldn't really control the sobs that wrecked his throat even if he tried.

                       "I'm – I'm so sorry," Harry buried his face in the pillow, wishing that Louis' arms were around him to comfort him, "S-so, sorry I – I couldn't, I couldn't keep you... I just, I just wanted to be pretty for you – " however, as many times as Harry repeated these words, he was sure of just one thing: he felt absolutely no remorse about taking three innocent lives, because Louis was worth it.

                      "L-liam, please, this is all I'm asking," Harry pleaded the same day a couple of hours later. Sleep had managed to erase any harsh memories from his brain, but not permanently, for when he woke up he was flooded again with the image of Louis' baby blue eyes staring coldly at him. His heart ached to the point where he couldn't breathe, and he was sure he did not wish to perform on their last day in Doncaster.

                        "Harry," Liam sighed curtly. Sir Zayn was in the corner of his office, leaning against the wall with arms crossed in front of his chest, as if he were observing them, his maroon eyes staring intensely at both of them, "The answer is no," he refused, "I'm already short on one performer, I have no idea where the fuck Louis is, Niall is acting bizarre as it, and I cannot let you too! I'm sorry but you must perform at least tonight. I make the decisions in this god-forsaken business and therefore you must obey my orders."

                     "T-that's all I've been doing!" Harry protested, but he did not have the strength to argue now that half of him was gone, "I sold my body to you, you used me for your benefit! All I'm fucking asking is-is one day off!"

                     Liam audibly swallowed, eyes stone cold. He glanced once at Sir Zayn, who only looked back in return without any hidden messages, "I'm sorry, but no."

                    An hour later and Harry was sitting on the chair in front of his boudoir, makeup plastered on his face and waiting for his turn to get on stage. His fingers were shaking against his thigh, and although he knew that Louis was not going to return anytime soon, there was still a faint glimmer of hope in his poor, abused heart, mainly because of the fact that his clothes and personal belongings were there.

                   And what would Harry do now? How would he cope all alone, when he could depend on his other half for the past month? How would he be able to ignore every dirty little cut he sliced on their flesh, all for him? How would he be able to ignore everything that had happened and continue his life as if Louis, his Daddy, the person who had supported and believed in him had turned around and left him? The worst part of it all, Harry thought, was the fact that he didn't feel anger towards his lover, because he knew Louis was right. He was right to walk away, from a sick, sick monster in order to protect himself. There are many monsters in this world, Harry thought, it's just that some are more human than the others. I am no human.

                Stretching out his hand, Harry took a piece of warm, wet cloth and started wiping it all over his face, the remnants of the makeup smearing across his face and the fabric. He cleaned every corner, made sure to wipe out even the smallest smudge that was left on his skin, and stared at himself in the mirror in front of him.

               His round, cherubic face was red and blotchy, soft pale skin around his cheeks and more pink towards his eyelids. His lips were ruby red, cracked because of how often he bit them. There were red, small angry marks underneath his eyes from how harsh he had removed his makeup, long, bouncy curly hair framing his face. Warm, thick tears made their way down his cheeks, turning his skin even more crimson.

              "Bellus," pretty, he whispered to himself, and, without realizing, turned around to look at Louis and ask what he thought of it.


But the room was empty, and so was Harry's heart.


___________________________

I KNOW IT IS TOO ANGSTY BUT SHITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN IN THE NEXT CHAPTER I PROMISE

side note: did anyone catch any references from the first book? ;);) *wiggles eyebrows*

THIS BOOK IS ENDING BUT I CANT WAIT FOR THE THIRD ONE I POSTED THE COVER AND THE TITLE ON INSTAGRAM WHICH IS ATROCITASTRILOGY YOU SHOULD GO AND CHECK IT OUT AND WE CAN TALK AND BE HAPPY C: 

ily all so so so much! your thoughts mean the world to me, so please comment them below <3 xx

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