Zayn's Best Friend

Chapter 42

*Kylie's POV*

"I love you, too." The truth slipped out of my mouth so easily, because I was so used to telling him that. I froze, and he stiffened. "You know I do."

"W-what?"

"Of course I fucking love you, Zayn. I've known you my whole life, you were the most important person in my life, and that's not going to go away right out of the blue. It will probably never go away. That doesn't mean things are good."

"Kylie, I love you so much. Please, I'll never love anybody more than I love you. You're my whole world, and these last few weeks have been the hardest of my life. It sucks knowing that we hurt each other so much, because that was seriously my last intention in the world. I was stupid. I am stupid."

"I..." I squeezed my eyes shut, praying that the tears that were welling up couldn't, or wouldn't, leak out. What could I say to that? I was caving. I knew I was caving and it was inevitable that by the end of the night, I would do what he wanted. But before that, I needed as many answers as possible.

"Why?" I cracked out. "What happened to us? God, we were flawless. I love...loved... you more than anything in the whole world. I mean, I... shit. I don't know. I need to know why we tore ourselves apart. How this is even possible. It still doesn't feel real." I still had my eyes squeezed tightly shut. I wasn't going to open them and let the tears spill out, or see Zayn's face. But I knew Zayn knew that I was crying, he knew me well enough.

"Damn, Ky, I wish I knew. I love you, not past tense, never will be past tense. We were flawless, you're right. We can be flawless again. It will take a little bit of time, but we can be perfect. We tore ourselves apart, or at least I did, because I was scared. Because sometimes, I let my insecurities get the best of me and I felt like you would never love me like I love you. I just love you so so much and you couldn't possibly fathom losing you. So, instead of just having the risk that maybe one day something could go wrong, I created fights between us and destroyed us anyways."

"I wish you would stop taking all the blame. It's equally my fault. I'm dramatic and caused so many fights because I couldn't stop and think for two seconds before getting upset. I don't know why you're fighting for me so hard. I fucked up. I am so sorry for everything."

I sighed brokenly and opened my eyes. Zayn was sitting so close to me that I jumped half a mile in the air, and he didn't flinch. He didn't smile; he just kept looking at me, his eyes wide and filled.

"God, Ky, I'm so sorry." He sighed even more brokenly than I just had.

I didn't say anything else; I just launched myself at his lips. They hit each other roughly and started moving. Nothing felt like it had changed even though I hadn't kissed him in almost a month.

Things were getting heated fast, with me pretty much on top of him and his hands racing up and down my back. I missed this so much, I missed him.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." He repeated over and over again, kissing all over my face and making me giggle. I ripped off his jacket and started unbuttoning his white button-down shirt. The suit made him look unbelievably hot, but the clothes were in the way right now.

And around a half hour later, he was putting it back on at the same time I wiggled my jeans back on.

"We just had sex in a field." I said blankly. Zayn laughed and ran his hands through his already wrecked hair.

"I love you Kylie Marie Carter." He replied.

"What does this mean?"

"Anything you want it to Kylie. I said, I'm completely yours."

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A month later, Zayn and I were on the way back to recovery. We were close, best friends again. It was like nothing had ever gone wrong, other than the fact that we were taking it slow. 

I had moved back into the loft with the other guys, but Zayn and I were strictly friends right now. Friends who made out sometimes and occasionally had sex and loved each other whole-heartedly. Well, we were trying to be friends. It was working as well as you'd expect. The tour was over and life was a lot like it was a year ago, just sitting with my favorite guys at home.

But I had to admit I missed it. I missed being 'Zayn's Girl', even though I was known as that anyway. I missed being his official girl, the one that had the right to do all the girlfriend-y things I wanted to do (and sometimes did) with him. It was my own fault. Zayn had asked me to be his girlfriend again a million times, all of which I said I wasn't ready yet. I wasn't. I was so deathly afraid of fucking this up again, because I knew in my heart we couldn't get past something like that twice.

And he accepted it, because he was just as head over heels for me as I was for him.

One night, when we were laying on the hammock outside, just looking up at the stars silently, he interrupted the peace.

"Kylie?"

"Yeah?" I answered, looking up from where I was buried under his arm.

"What's the real reason we can't be together right now?" he fixed his golden eyes on me. I hadn't really told him anything about my reasons.

"I... don't know. I want to, so bad. But I'm scared. What if we mess up again? What if something goes wrong and this time, it's permanent?"

"Kylie Carter," he sighed, "What am I going to do with you? How many times do I have to say that I will never let anything get between us again? Now that I had to live without you, I know that I could never do that to myself."

"I love you."

"You're my Bella."

"Wait..." I laughed, "Did you just make a Twilight reference?"

"I thought it would be romantic." He muttered, blushing.

"You're so cute." I hugged him tight, my throat clenching with sudden emotion. I loved Zayn Malik more than anything else, a love so strong it was lethal. This was the crazy love I had thought about so long ago, while I was dating Harry. The craziness I was sure didn't even exist. It was it, and it was worth it.  

"Kylie, will you be my Bella forever? I'll turn you into a vampire and we can live in our little piece of forever."

"Cut down on the cheese and ask again, loser." I was nearly crying from laughter, even though I felt pretty bad about it. He was trying to be cute and romantic and quoting a movie I made him watch with me, and I was laughing.

"Will you be my girlfriend again? Please?" he asked sincerely, smiling and looking straight into my eyes. I wanted to melt and I'm sure I made a little noise in the back of my throat. He was all mine.

"Yes." I leaned in and kissed him and then settled back underneath his arm, looking at the stars that were finally perfectly aligned.

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The end!

Thank you all for reading, and my long-ass official ending author's note will be in the epilogue.

Thank you for being such amazing fans and for getting me so far in this story. I'm truly blessed, and I'm sorry I'm not writing a sequel. I think we can all agree that my update time is a little ridic, and that's both because I'm busy x100 and I'm done with this story.  I don't finish things, and I'm extremely proud of myself for sticking with this story for TEN MONTHS. That's a long time, so thank you to everyone who's been with me since the beginning.

Stay tuned for the epilogue!